Friday evening I made it out of Gongju, and got on a bus to Seoul.
Here, the people are alive and the girls look like girls. I don't think anyone from Gongju comes to Seoul. On the underground train from the bus station to where my friend is living, I counted 32 attractive females in 45 minutes. In Gongju, over the 3 weeks I have been here, I have seen none at all. Slight concern is that if I don't leave this place every now and again, I just know I will begin promoting the females here to a league they shouldn't be in. It's the same for people working in offices who think, over time, that the only female employee who has one eye in the middle of her head but has nice perfume is actually not that bad.
Seoul was amazingly simple to navigate. The tube map looks very complicated, but it isn't, and all the signs around the stations make sense and never send you to places you don't want to go to. Where me mate Lee lives, it's a bit of an urban sprawl, but about 10 mins walk behind the blocks of flats are many many hills and forests...which is nice. They are teeming with Korean folk too...all out to try and find a pocket of fresh air to breathe, I guess.
We did go for a walk up a hill, and half way up it, among the trees, there was a library in a big tent. In it were children with books. I'm not quite sure why there is a library there...but there is. There are also many body building gadgets and exercise areas on many of the hills, each with a muscley Korean man waiting to impress anyone who walks past.
In the evening and late into the night, although far from the centre of Seoul, this place has lots of life. Gongju, my city-village doesn't, where the people are afraid to go out at night, I think in case they meet a girl. All the men are hiding in net bars, playing games and chatting to females from outside the city.
Unfortunately I had to return to Gongju on Sunday. I was hoping to catch up on some sleep on the 2 hour journey back...but this was to be impossible. As I sat in my seat, I realised I was being watched...by a very large, mean looking bald foreigner. He moved closer. As he opened his mouth to speak, I could only think one thing - don't be a weird American. He spoke.
'I 'aint seeen yew ad'all in Gongjeew. Whereareya holed up?'
My second thought was 'Bollocks - he's an American. But is he weird?'.
As it turns out he was an American/Italian ...and boy did he talk. I soon found out that:
He is teaching 18-19 year old kids who hate him because he called a certain sea the 'Japanese Sea' (the Koreans hate Japan and so call it something else). Not just that...he tried to prove to all of them it is called the Japanese Sea by looking it up on the internet. It is called the Japanese Sea...but if you are in Korea and they want to call it something else...then go with it. He said it was like a war and he had to prove he was right. He said he has put the topic in their exam they will have next week. He will lose.
He is also a 'broken war veteran'. He told me this, although I didn't ask about his past cause I only met him a few minutes ago. He has been in Korea for a number of years, and has a Japanese girlfriend, although he liked to brag that he cheats on her and sees Korean girls too. What a nice chap.
After an hour of non-stop talking, it was good to hear him say that he is going to get some sleep for the last hour of the journey. I think everyone else was happy too, as he was the only one talking and he was very loud. But sadly, he lied. I found out he was close enough to touch me, because he did...on my knee (which he then did several more times), and said excitedly:
'Hey, 'dya like soccer? I play soccer. I love it. I got coaching badges and everything. I've coached kids in Japan before and offered to coach the kids at my school too but they don't want me. I've taken teams from the bottom of the table who had lost all their games, right to the top. I did....(blah), then I... (blah) and also... (blah). I keep goal you know. There was this game the other day and this kids hits a PK just right, and I dive to my left and stop it. The parents watching all clapped and were saying 'wow great save'. There was this other kid who went to head the ball just as I was going to punch it and I hit him hard in the face. He went down, and it was so funny...he was lyin' there and that, holding his head. He won't do that again. You should come and have a game next Sunday. But it's kinda early. They start at 6am cause they have school later. I'll get your number when we get off.'
He continued (loudly)...
'They'd love to have someone from England play. Hey - you know England will host the next World Cup cause Africa wont be ready. You got some great players in that team...umm..like Dave Rooney. Brazil will be good though cause they got some younger ones coming through like Ronaldhino and Christian Ronaldo' (who is Portugese and plays for Portugal).
'You know the last World cup I was so pleased cause Italy beat France. My family are from Italy and I was there then. But they weren't meant to win it, cause France, Germany and Portugal got together and told Italy they were not allowed to win it, cause they didn't want them to have more world cups than them. So the team was told to lose...but the manager, at half time said 'fu#% this' told the players to go out and win it. Then when they won it everyone was so pissed! (annoyed). Nobody important came to present the cup. Didn't you know all this man?? Just after the final, France cut off the electricity supply to Italy...so my family's electric bill went up no end and they were real pissed. But then a few months later Italy played France and we let them win... and then they turned the power back on. We get most of out power from France cause they got nuclear power stations. They don't want them in Italy cause of what happened in Chernobyl'.
He said lots more - mainly about a board game he plays...like Risk but about World War II. He explained all the rules to me, and everything that happened in the last game he played, and the people who played it. I'm not sure why. I hardly spoke, I pretended to go to sleep, I looked around the bus, I stared at him in an expressionless 'just stop' way...but he went on until the journey ended. He asked for my number and said I didn't have a phone. But I gave him an e-mail address that I don't use very often. He seemed surprised I didn't have a phone, and that I couldn't remember the name of the school I worked at either, and that I didn't even know my home address. He asked me to reply to his e-mail in a way that suggested he knows I won't.
It's fitting that he is living here in Gongju…I wouldn't have placed him anywhere else. Only surprise is he is not working at my school.
Monday, 25 June 2007
Saturday, 23 June 2007
Week 3 - The next group arrive for their sentence....
The third week has come to an end, and it was as I expected...exactly the same as last week, only with different students. The changes to the program that were suggested will take some time to be approved, although they are minor compared to what really needs to be done. A lot of wood is needed to put around the building, and a box of matches to light it. I will happily stoke the fire, as all the other foreign 'teachers' will still be in the building. I doubt many will notice it's on fire.
This week...
Big Friendly American, Pete, loses it with the kids again. He humiliates one in his class for not listening, and squirts water at others who then hate him. He thinks they find it funny. It's a repeat of last week and I don't think he will ever get it. In the 'Sports English' class he humiliates a nice girl for talking and asks her to take over the lesson. It's painful to watch (if I intervened I felt he would explode, so I didn't). All the students go quiet (he keeps telling me that he just wants the kids to 'have fun'. Guess he doesn't mean today.) Pete calls the activity 'musical mats' - which is like musical chairs. The 15 year old pubescent students are to dance around the room to the theme tune of 'Fame', and sit on a mat when the music stops. They don't want to do this, because they are 15 and not 5. It goes on 'till the painful end, however.
The students have important exams next week I discover. Some tell me they would rather be at home or school preparing for them. I asked one if she thinks it is a waste of time coming here because they don't learn anything and a lot of it is boring. She said 'yes'.
Some students are happy though, I think because they can make new friends and they are staying away from their parents for the first time. One Korean teacher stays with them at night to keep an eye on them...and this week it was Mr. Yang (my partner). The main rule Mr. Yang should enforce is to make sure all the students go to bed at 10pm and get a good nights sleep.
On Tuesday morning when I went to my classroom Mr. Yang was already there, and I just about made out what he said:
'The students...stay up all night....talking. I no sleep. Order pizza! All of them! Pizza...from the town. All night they talk. I can't sleep. Talk talk talk. Many mischievous students. I so tired. Many study...but no lights! Hahaha! They try to study but it's dark! (chuckles again; smile disappears...) I so tired'.
Mr. Yang still fascinates me. He will sit in my room all day to avoid the other Korean teachers, and his bosses. He has nothing much to do at all, and will read text books. I cannot get much done when he is there as he will talk forever about history, politics, and religion, and I still can only understand 50% of it. I am interested in 0% of it, but he cannot read the signals I send him to indicate this. He hears what he wants to hear, and says what he wants to say. He IS a nice man, but he DOES drive people insane, and the other foreign teachers are relieved not to be working with him. Whenever I leave the room he will jump into my seat and use the internet, and will always go to the same web page - biblegateway.com, which is always left open for me to 'discover'. He has told me several times that he wrote a text book for schools, and keeps showing it to me. But the thing is it was not accepted and never printed. He insists on taking me to lunch every Thursday, but I know this is really so he can avoid going with all the other teachers (guess I can understand that. They all go with Pete to eat at a dog restaurant). He went to Oxford for a couple of weeks many years ago for a seminar about teaching. He got a certificate for turning up and now, every day without fail, tells me he has a qualification from Oxford University. He has read a lot about English history, and tells me about that every day too. This week, he keeps mentioning Oliver Cromwell, and tells me he thinks the new leader of Korea is like him. I have no real idea of what he is talking about, which is pretty much the norm. Unfortunately neither do any of the students when he is explaining what they have to do in the exciting 'Mission Impossible' activity that we do together. After the explanation, all the students should rush off looking for small packets placed around the school. This week, after Mr. Yang's explanation, which ended with an excited 'NOW GO!', the whole class sat motionless. The worrying thing is he explained everything to them in Korean.
This weeks quotes from the Big, Not Quite So Friendly This Week American, Pete:
The topic was football:
(Me to Pete): So do you watch much football? Oh, I guess I should day 'soccer'?
(Pete to me): I have a question for you...do you guys (British people) have another name for rugby?
Me: No.
Pete: So why do you have another name for soccer?
I don't think Pete has been out of America for long, somehow. This feeling was reinforced when he and I introduced ourselves to a group of new students:
'Now, see if you can tell where this guy (pointing at me) is from. Listen to the way he talks'.
I was about to speak when he came out with these stunning words:
'He has what we call an 'accent'. People from England, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, and to a lesser extent, Canada, all have strong accents'.
Pete seems eternally trapped in the small world known as 'America'. He truly believes he doesn't have an accent. I did point out to him that he has an American accent...to which there was no response.
On Friday Pete came into my room and told me he thinks the students bond with me really well, which is nice. This might be due to a group of about 10 of them who have been shouting out 'Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David. Sorry!' all week long. They repeat it many times and find it very funny. They do it to drive me mad, and I am not sad they that they have all gone now.
A girl came up to me and handed me a letter before she left, and in it she tells me that she loves me…which is nice. And one other said she wants to marry me, and when I suggested a time of next Monday lunchtime, she said 'ok'. I'm not sure why they feel this way towards me, as I often amuse myself by taking sweets and money from them (but it's not real money – this place prints it's own play money for the kids to use in the special 'real life' venues). I have quite a stack of this fake money, and will soon open a fake bank account at the fake bank next week. I'll see what response I get from the fake teachers when I tell them what I have done.
On Monday, a group of 12 year olds will arrive at the fake school for 'the time of their lives'. I have prepared a special sign for them that I will put at the entrance. It says 'TURN BACK NOW', written in blood. I hope they understand.
This week...
Big Friendly American, Pete, loses it with the kids again. He humiliates one in his class for not listening, and squirts water at others who then hate him. He thinks they find it funny. It's a repeat of last week and I don't think he will ever get it. In the 'Sports English' class he humiliates a nice girl for talking and asks her to take over the lesson. It's painful to watch (if I intervened I felt he would explode, so I didn't). All the students go quiet (he keeps telling me that he just wants the kids to 'have fun'. Guess he doesn't mean today.) Pete calls the activity 'musical mats' - which is like musical chairs. The 15 year old pubescent students are to dance around the room to the theme tune of 'Fame', and sit on a mat when the music stops. They don't want to do this, because they are 15 and not 5. It goes on 'till the painful end, however.
The students have important exams next week I discover. Some tell me they would rather be at home or school preparing for them. I asked one if she thinks it is a waste of time coming here because they don't learn anything and a lot of it is boring. She said 'yes'.
Some students are happy though, I think because they can make new friends and they are staying away from their parents for the first time. One Korean teacher stays with them at night to keep an eye on them...and this week it was Mr. Yang (my partner). The main rule Mr. Yang should enforce is to make sure all the students go to bed at 10pm and get a good nights sleep.
On Tuesday morning when I went to my classroom Mr. Yang was already there, and I just about made out what he said:
'The students...stay up all night....talking. I no sleep. Order pizza! All of them! Pizza...from the town. All night they talk. I can't sleep. Talk talk talk. Many mischievous students. I so tired. Many study...but no lights! Hahaha! They try to study but it's dark! (chuckles again; smile disappears...) I so tired'.
Mr. Yang still fascinates me. He will sit in my room all day to avoid the other Korean teachers, and his bosses. He has nothing much to do at all, and will read text books. I cannot get much done when he is there as he will talk forever about history, politics, and religion, and I still can only understand 50% of it. I am interested in 0% of it, but he cannot read the signals I send him to indicate this. He hears what he wants to hear, and says what he wants to say. He IS a nice man, but he DOES drive people insane, and the other foreign teachers are relieved not to be working with him. Whenever I leave the room he will jump into my seat and use the internet, and will always go to the same web page - biblegateway.com, which is always left open for me to 'discover'. He has told me several times that he wrote a text book for schools, and keeps showing it to me. But the thing is it was not accepted and never printed. He insists on taking me to lunch every Thursday, but I know this is really so he can avoid going with all the other teachers (guess I can understand that. They all go with Pete to eat at a dog restaurant). He went to Oxford for a couple of weeks many years ago for a seminar about teaching. He got a certificate for turning up and now, every day without fail, tells me he has a qualification from Oxford University. He has read a lot about English history, and tells me about that every day too. This week, he keeps mentioning Oliver Cromwell, and tells me he thinks the new leader of Korea is like him. I have no real idea of what he is talking about, which is pretty much the norm. Unfortunately neither do any of the students when he is explaining what they have to do in the exciting 'Mission Impossible' activity that we do together. After the explanation, all the students should rush off looking for small packets placed around the school. This week, after Mr. Yang's explanation, which ended with an excited 'NOW GO!', the whole class sat motionless. The worrying thing is he explained everything to them in Korean.
This weeks quotes from the Big, Not Quite So Friendly This Week American, Pete:
The topic was football:
(Me to Pete): So do you watch much football? Oh, I guess I should day 'soccer'?
(Pete to me): I have a question for you...do you guys (British people) have another name for rugby?
Me: No.
Pete: So why do you have another name for soccer?
I don't think Pete has been out of America for long, somehow. This feeling was reinforced when he and I introduced ourselves to a group of new students:
'Now, see if you can tell where this guy (pointing at me) is from. Listen to the way he talks'.
I was about to speak when he came out with these stunning words:
'He has what we call an 'accent'. People from England, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, and to a lesser extent, Canada, all have strong accents'.
Pete seems eternally trapped in the small world known as 'America'. He truly believes he doesn't have an accent. I did point out to him that he has an American accent...to which there was no response.
On Friday Pete came into my room and told me he thinks the students bond with me really well, which is nice. This might be due to a group of about 10 of them who have been shouting out 'Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David. Sorry!' all week long. They repeat it many times and find it very funny. They do it to drive me mad, and I am not sad they that they have all gone now.
A girl came up to me and handed me a letter before she left, and in it she tells me that she loves me…which is nice. And one other said she wants to marry me, and when I suggested a time of next Monday lunchtime, she said 'ok'. I'm not sure why they feel this way towards me, as I often amuse myself by taking sweets and money from them (but it's not real money – this place prints it's own play money for the kids to use in the special 'real life' venues). I have quite a stack of this fake money, and will soon open a fake bank account at the fake bank next week. I'll see what response I get from the fake teachers when I tell them what I have done.
On Monday, a group of 12 year olds will arrive at the fake school for 'the time of their lives'. I have prepared a special sign for them that I will put at the entrance. It says 'TURN BACK NOW', written in blood. I hope they understand.
Monday, 18 June 2007
End of 'Come see the Monkeys' (Week one).
Wednesday
Today the lucky students had Sports English. This was a bit of a lie, as there was no English involved. Big friendly American nutter Pete took 24 of the 36 kids outside, and took a thick, long rope with him. I was to follow and observe, as I was supposed to be doing this jointly with Pete next week. The rope was laid out on the ground. Nothing was explained to the kids as they were divided into 2 groups, told to pick up each end, and pull. Nobody had told them this is what they would do...and they looked a bit uneasy with the task. The group with had far more boys than the other group won it, surprisingly. They were told to do it again...and the result was the same.
The next game Pete got them to play was Dodge Ball. Here, students launched the ball at each other as hard as they could throw it. I watched the looks of terror on all but one of the girls' faces. Pete tells me that the rule is to throw it below waist height...just as one girl was blasted on the head. Once again, the boys dominated and most of the girls became lemmings, running towards the person with the ball and asking to be hit gently. They would help each other get eliminated without being obliterated. Pete seemed oblivious to this, as once the game was over he told them to play it twice more. The girls had so much fun.
Later that day I watched Pete lesson, which was about the clinic and pharmacy (as they have real-life mock-ups of these as well here). Before the lesson began he sat at his desk with a water gun, and fired it at unsuspecting students. None were amused at getting soaked, but Pete found it funny. He got one girl full in the face and, humiliated in front of her classmates, was almost in tears. But jolly ole Pete was once again oblivious. In his world, everyone was havin' fun.
For 40 minutes he lectured them about a whole load of medical stuff completely irrelevant to 15 year old Korean kids. They hardly understood him as he used many words they have never heard of. One kid, obviously bored, started talking to his friend...and Pete humiliated him by yelling at him for about a minute...asking if he would like to take over the lesson. For Korean kids to lose face in that way is really bad. It was embarrassing to watch. I was asked to explain all about medical insurance to the class. I did this, but as it was boring and irrelevant to the kids I tried to elicit a lot instead of lecture them. Unfortunately, Pete shouted out the answers, as if to tell me not to do it this way. I ignored him and carried on. He continued to shout out answers before the kids had a chance. What an annoying tit. I did snap at him after a while and he shut up. Afterwards, he said I did ok. He asked me:
'Is this the first time you have taught here?'
'No'
'Did you feel nervous?'
'No - you arse. But I AM nervous watching you!' (didn't say the bit after 'no')
Ear Doctor...
Went back to see this nice chap, as was still almost deaf in one ear. He told me the ear drum is still badly infected. Great. Then he got some long tweezer type things and said 'this will be very painful'. It's so nice to be warned in such an honest way. I was sweating before he was anywhere near me. As it turned out, it wasn't painful at all. He pulled something out...and I could hear a little better. He then said he would dress the infection, and that this time it would be 'very painful', and I was 'not to move at all'. Wonderful words again...which I heard very loud and clear, and the sweat began again...but this time much more so. But it didn't hurt at all! Either the Koreans have a very low pain threshold, or this chap is very good. Well, whichever it is, when he had finished I was very happy, and was very nice to him. I would describe my feeling of relief similar to that displayed by a dog when the vet has finished making it suffer; it is suddenly full of beans, wagging it's tail real fast and giving excited licks to everyone, jumping all over the place. I think I looked a bit like that. I also told him I thought his English was very good, and that it is harsh he has to work a 6 day week. I believe I may have made a slight tit of myself. Well anyway, at least I could hear a better now..and that did make me feel more awake. So much so, in fact, I suddenly realised what a nightmare this teaching experience might be. I could think clearly now, and I wished I had taken any one of the other positions I had been offered. I was 95% sure I would hand in my notice by the end of the week...and by the end of the evening was really depressed! Didn't last though, as...
...Thursday
was an ok day. The kids were all happy, and no one had called me Ron Wealsey since Tuesday (cause I am not ginger). I took my own classes and made them fun. In the early evening I continued to train two groups (out of 6) that I had been helping all week with 'skit practice' - they were to act out a couple of short plays (Handel and Gretel, and something else I had never heard of). The competition between students is fierce in Korean schools, and is continued here. All the performances would be judged. My group was due to be taken over by Pete today...but he was needed by another teacher who wanted his advice (?!). I had seen him try to teach them how to act before...and they didn't seem to follow his hugely exaggerated expressions, loud booming voice and impressive theatrics, maybe because these were 15 year old Korean kids who are, compared to American kids anyway, the shyest in the world. This didn't stop Pete from criticizing them continuously. 'Why can't they just do what I do?!' he said. He will never get it I think...his mind has never left America.
Friday
Competition day. Before the performances began Pete came over to have a word:
'Hey Dave, what kind of acting have you done?'
'Umm...none'
'No? Me – two years on Broadway.'
I think I was supposed to be really impressed and go 'WOW', so I said:
'WOW! Really?? That's amazing!' (he believed me!).
'Yeah. Could have been there a long time - if it weren't for the drink.'
'Hmm. Oh well...'
Now the result is not important to me, but as it happens my two groups came 1st and 2nd. I was happy for the kids, naturally, and said nothing to Pete, who said nothing to me. Sometimes silence is great. I could feel the uneasiness in the air. Oh well, never mind.
The kids were released at lunchtime, and taken back to their schools. They actually seemed sad to be going, as they took a long time to leave.
There was a 'review' meeting that followed, and I was asked to say what I thought of it all. I was very diplomatic, but sort of get across I the fact I thought it wasn't very good. I made some suggestions, and to my surprise they didn't bite my head off...and even agreed with me! I was expecting to decide to leave after this meeting, but I might give it a bit longer now. Another reason to stay is that a bit later on, they were shouting and yelling at each other, but were being very nice to me. That I don't mind so much, cause it was funny to watch.
36 more fortuate kids will arrive on Monday...that is unless word has got out that this place is %#&!@.
Today the lucky students had Sports English. This was a bit of a lie, as there was no English involved. Big friendly American nutter Pete took 24 of the 36 kids outside, and took a thick, long rope with him. I was to follow and observe, as I was supposed to be doing this jointly with Pete next week. The rope was laid out on the ground. Nothing was explained to the kids as they were divided into 2 groups, told to pick up each end, and pull. Nobody had told them this is what they would do...and they looked a bit uneasy with the task. The group with had far more boys than the other group won it, surprisingly. They were told to do it again...and the result was the same.
The next game Pete got them to play was Dodge Ball. Here, students launched the ball at each other as hard as they could throw it. I watched the looks of terror on all but one of the girls' faces. Pete tells me that the rule is to throw it below waist height...just as one girl was blasted on the head. Once again, the boys dominated and most of the girls became lemmings, running towards the person with the ball and asking to be hit gently. They would help each other get eliminated without being obliterated. Pete seemed oblivious to this, as once the game was over he told them to play it twice more. The girls had so much fun.
Later that day I watched Pete lesson, which was about the clinic and pharmacy (as they have real-life mock-ups of these as well here). Before the lesson began he sat at his desk with a water gun, and fired it at unsuspecting students. None were amused at getting soaked, but Pete found it funny. He got one girl full in the face and, humiliated in front of her classmates, was almost in tears. But jolly ole Pete was once again oblivious. In his world, everyone was havin' fun.
For 40 minutes he lectured them about a whole load of medical stuff completely irrelevant to 15 year old Korean kids. They hardly understood him as he used many words they have never heard of. One kid, obviously bored, started talking to his friend...and Pete humiliated him by yelling at him for about a minute...asking if he would like to take over the lesson. For Korean kids to lose face in that way is really bad. It was embarrassing to watch. I was asked to explain all about medical insurance to the class. I did this, but as it was boring and irrelevant to the kids I tried to elicit a lot instead of lecture them. Unfortunately, Pete shouted out the answers, as if to tell me not to do it this way. I ignored him and carried on. He continued to shout out answers before the kids had a chance. What an annoying tit. I did snap at him after a while and he shut up. Afterwards, he said I did ok. He asked me:
'Is this the first time you have taught here?'
'No'
'Did you feel nervous?'
'No - you arse. But I AM nervous watching you!' (didn't say the bit after 'no')
Ear Doctor...
Went back to see this nice chap, as was still almost deaf in one ear. He told me the ear drum is still badly infected. Great. Then he got some long tweezer type things and said 'this will be very painful'. It's so nice to be warned in such an honest way. I was sweating before he was anywhere near me. As it turned out, it wasn't painful at all. He pulled something out...and I could hear a little better. He then said he would dress the infection, and that this time it would be 'very painful', and I was 'not to move at all'. Wonderful words again...which I heard very loud and clear, and the sweat began again...but this time much more so. But it didn't hurt at all! Either the Koreans have a very low pain threshold, or this chap is very good. Well, whichever it is, when he had finished I was very happy, and was very nice to him. I would describe my feeling of relief similar to that displayed by a dog when the vet has finished making it suffer; it is suddenly full of beans, wagging it's tail real fast and giving excited licks to everyone, jumping all over the place. I think I looked a bit like that. I also told him I thought his English was very good, and that it is harsh he has to work a 6 day week. I believe I may have made a slight tit of myself. Well anyway, at least I could hear a better now..and that did make me feel more awake. So much so, in fact, I suddenly realised what a nightmare this teaching experience might be. I could think clearly now, and I wished I had taken any one of the other positions I had been offered. I was 95% sure I would hand in my notice by the end of the week...and by the end of the evening was really depressed! Didn't last though, as...
...Thursday
was an ok day. The kids were all happy, and no one had called me Ron Wealsey since Tuesday (cause I am not ginger). I took my own classes and made them fun. In the early evening I continued to train two groups (out of 6) that I had been helping all week with 'skit practice' - they were to act out a couple of short plays (Handel and Gretel, and something else I had never heard of). The competition between students is fierce in Korean schools, and is continued here. All the performances would be judged. My group was due to be taken over by Pete today...but he was needed by another teacher who wanted his advice (?!). I had seen him try to teach them how to act before...and they didn't seem to follow his hugely exaggerated expressions, loud booming voice and impressive theatrics, maybe because these were 15 year old Korean kids who are, compared to American kids anyway, the shyest in the world. This didn't stop Pete from criticizing them continuously. 'Why can't they just do what I do?!' he said. He will never get it I think...his mind has never left America.
Friday
Competition day. Before the performances began Pete came over to have a word:
'Hey Dave, what kind of acting have you done?'
'Umm...none'
'No? Me – two years on Broadway.'
I think I was supposed to be really impressed and go 'WOW', so I said:
'WOW! Really?? That's amazing!' (he believed me!).
'Yeah. Could have been there a long time - if it weren't for the drink.'
'Hmm. Oh well...'
Now the result is not important to me, but as it happens my two groups came 1st and 2nd. I was happy for the kids, naturally, and said nothing to Pete, who said nothing to me. Sometimes silence is great. I could feel the uneasiness in the air. Oh well, never mind.
The kids were released at lunchtime, and taken back to their schools. They actually seemed sad to be going, as they took a long time to leave.
There was a 'review' meeting that followed, and I was asked to say what I thought of it all. I was very diplomatic, but sort of get across I the fact I thought it wasn't very good. I made some suggestions, and to my surprise they didn't bite my head off...and even agreed with me! I was expecting to decide to leave after this meeting, but I might give it a bit longer now. Another reason to stay is that a bit later on, they were shouting and yelling at each other, but were being very nice to me. That I don't mind so much, cause it was funny to watch.
36 more fortuate kids will arrive on Monday...that is unless word has got out that this place is %#&!@.
Friday, 15 June 2007
The first week...
Big Friendly American explains 'you are, under no cicumstances, allowed to put your hands on the table in this game of blow pingpong/soccer type game that you are about to partake in.' The students demonstrate their understanding of a marvelous explanation.
And...in the game of dodgeball, we are down to the last few girls who had, until now, successfully hid behind the boys. Now the boys are all out, it's time for them to get blasted with the ball. 'They love it' Big Friendly American claims as the last scream goes up, and the winners are declared. 'It'll toughen them up. They don't do anything like this in Korean schools'. Hmm.
Time for the surprise the kids have been practising for the foreign teachers. Oh...it's My Love by Westlife...just like last time, and with no music. Great.
A mixture of feelings and emotions before the kids leave at the end of the week. The girl in yellow wrote me a note saying she loves me and wants to marry me. The girl on the right wants us to be friends forever, and the girl on the left just couldn't give a shit, and is ready to go home.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Day 2 of 'English Camp - You MUST have fun'.
Tuesday.
I was to 'observe' all this week, and so it continued today. The kids, after day one, were pretty nervous at the sight of certain foreign teachers, but otherwise livelier. They had stayed together in a dormitory, and seemed to have got to know each other pretty well after the superb ice-breakers yesterday.
Today I followed a few classes around the 'English Experience Centre'. This is the impressive mock-ups of a post office, restaurant etc. from the West (meaning America). As I felt like a laugh, I watched freaky Korean/American girl first. She was doing the restaurant (this is what I will have to do next week), and then the airport was to follow with another class. Her partner for the first venue is none other than my new partner, Mr. Ying (name changed slightly for protection...but think I've already blown his cover previously - as I have for everyone).
Freaky teacher began as she meant to go on - by lining the kids up against the wall, and blasted them at the top of her voice with a flurry of restaurant-related words, in no particular order, and with her v. strong US accent.
'WAAAAIDER! (waiter);
WAAAAIDRESS! (waitress);
PLAAAYD! (plate);
DEESUUURT! (dessert);
STAAARDUR! (starter)
....and many others. Amazingly all the kids survived this onslaught. Half were then led away by Freaky, and the other 6 were left with Mr. Ying...so either way, they lost.
Mr. Ying, dressed as a waiter, went through the simple dialogue that each of them was to repeat. He has an incredible way of turning clear, written English into a whole new language when it is spoken. The meaning of a word is not so much explained, but is repeated about 5 times instead, then the sentence it is in is repeated 3 times, pointing to the word of confusion. He will finish with 'Do you understand?'. The students are stuck on auto-'yes' whenever they hear this question, and it only takes one person to say it.
Mr. Ying then acts as a waiter. I watched from near the entrance, where he walks to after the students have ordered, and pretends to tell an imaginary chef what to cook. He explains his role to me briefly... 'I come here, count to tree in my mind, and then go back'. He takes his role very seriously, and would probably make a very good waiter. He serves out the fake food which is stuck to fake plates, and gives out the fake drinks (each of the fake items cost the teaching centre the equivalent of 75 pounds...a good example of how much money has been put into this place by the government). The other 6 students are with Freaky, going through a 'making a reservation' dialogue. After 15 mins the two groups swap over and everything is repeated.
After the 20 minute break between classes (where the kids go and chat and play together - i.e. have fun) I went to observe the airport class, again run by Freaky. This time, a good Korean teacher was helping her.
Freaky took 6 kids away, and made them go through the metal detector (which is real!), before entering a mock-up of the inside of a plane, with 6 real aircraft seats. Freaky pretended to be an air-stewardess and went along the seats with a trolley serving real drinks. I don't think she would make a real stewardess, however, as she is a) too loud, b) not nice c) unattractive d) really annoying. She then puts on a safety video from Korean Airlines (in English) and leaves the kids to it for 5 minutes while she does nothing. Then she tells them all to get out, and the next 6 students come in.
After the lesson I suggested to her that she stays with the students during the video, as they don't listen to any of the English, and check they do what it tells them to do (at least 4 of them had their seats back and trays down prior to take off). Freaky seemed to agree with me. However, I was later to find out that during the lunch break she was swearing her head off about me, saying how dare I tell her what to do after only being here for a day, blah blah blah. It was only a suggestion, which I put in a polite way, to help raise her teaching level above it's present one, which doesn't even register on the teacher abilty rating machine. I think she hates me. But I'd rather she hates me than loves me, or even likes me...so I'm happy with the outcome.
(That afternoon...)
Finally, it's the 'Mission Impossible' class. This will just be me and Mr. Ying. I'm asked if I am ok to do this class, as I haven't seen it before...but I say I think I can do it. Mr. Ying tells me there is much to prepare before class. This involves the complex procedure of cutting out pictures from printed out sheets, and putting them in small packets. These are then put around the Centre, both inside and out. The students will get some clues as to where these packets are, and must find them, bring them back to the classroom, stick the cut out pictures onto their paper, and then find the next packet. Mr. Ying explains that myself and he then do...absolutely nothing, before laughing and saying 'it's very easy' 5 times.
Mr. Ying insisted that I go with him to stick the packets to various places before the students arrive...although he had already showed me where they are put earlier in the day. He makes it worth my while by asking me to put my finger on the packet while he puts a piece of tape over it to attach it to wherever we might be (like the flag pole in the car park). I try to wonder off a bit when he gets to the sticking up the packets part, to see if he can do it all by himself. But he always calls me over to put my finger on it. I manage to get quite far sometimes, but always have to go back. I put my finger on the packet, holding it onto the pole while I watch Mr. Ying fumble around with the tape, finally snap a piece off the reel, and then completely miss the packet I am holding. He does this pretty often; his strike rate is around 1 in 3. But he will never break off another piece of tape...he will pick off the tape he missed with, which may take some time.
By the time we got around to the back of the building to stick up the last packets, I lost it with Mr. Ying. It was fascinating at first, but now it was torture. I was far behind him this time, and he waited for me to arrive just to hold my finger on the packet. I took the tape away from him, and trying not to sound pissed off, asked him to watch me do it. I snapped off a piece of tape, picked up the packet, stuck half of the tape to the packet and the other to the pole. Tadar! Look at that! He seemed impressed.
'Mr. Ying - you don't need another friggin' person to put their friggin' finger on the friggin' packet while you fumble around with the friggin' tape, and then after all that miss the friggin' thing anyway and it falls to the friggin' floor and friggin' blows away! We then have to go after the friggin' thing, and then start this whole friggin' palaver all over a friggin' gain, man!!!'. I really wanted to say that.
Back in the classroom, the students arrived, and I was to begin my first class. My Ying said I should explain to the students what they needed to do, and he would explain the rules, which are stuck on the wall (but not by Mr. Ying, I think). I went over what they needed to do...which was pretty straight forward. Mr. Ying went over the rules:
'Rule number one - Complete one mission at a time.' 'That means, complete one mission...at a time. You must finish one mission...before starting the next mission.' (Pointing to the words...) 'one mission...at a time'. 'One mission'. 'You understand 'mission'?'
'Yes' (said in a 'Oh for f&#ks sake get on with it' kind of way)
'It means...mission.' 'Something you...need to do.' 'Mission'. 'Only do one mission at a time'.
Unfortunately there were 5 rules. It's never right to interrupt a teacher infront of students, so I didn't, and he went through all 5. I had to turn away whenever a student gave me a 'Can't you do something?' type look.
As the kids ran out of the room, maybe to look for the first packet, maybe just to get out of the room, Mr. Ying said to me quietly 'You did good job. You explain it (to them) very well. You are a good teacher. I very happy you come'.
I felt so happy too.
I was to 'observe' all this week, and so it continued today. The kids, after day one, were pretty nervous at the sight of certain foreign teachers, but otherwise livelier. They had stayed together in a dormitory, and seemed to have got to know each other pretty well after the superb ice-breakers yesterday.
Today I followed a few classes around the 'English Experience Centre'. This is the impressive mock-ups of a post office, restaurant etc. from the West (meaning America). As I felt like a laugh, I watched freaky Korean/American girl first. She was doing the restaurant (this is what I will have to do next week), and then the airport was to follow with another class. Her partner for the first venue is none other than my new partner, Mr. Ying (name changed slightly for protection...but think I've already blown his cover previously - as I have for everyone).
Freaky teacher began as she meant to go on - by lining the kids up against the wall, and blasted them at the top of her voice with a flurry of restaurant-related words, in no particular order, and with her v. strong US accent.
'WAAAAIDER! (waiter);
WAAAAIDRESS! (waitress);
PLAAAYD! (plate);
DEESUUURT! (dessert);
STAAARDUR! (starter)
....and many others. Amazingly all the kids survived this onslaught. Half were then led away by Freaky, and the other 6 were left with Mr. Ying...so either way, they lost.
Mr. Ying, dressed as a waiter, went through the simple dialogue that each of them was to repeat. He has an incredible way of turning clear, written English into a whole new language when it is spoken. The meaning of a word is not so much explained, but is repeated about 5 times instead, then the sentence it is in is repeated 3 times, pointing to the word of confusion. He will finish with 'Do you understand?'. The students are stuck on auto-'yes' whenever they hear this question, and it only takes one person to say it.
Mr. Ying then acts as a waiter. I watched from near the entrance, where he walks to after the students have ordered, and pretends to tell an imaginary chef what to cook. He explains his role to me briefly... 'I come here, count to tree in my mind, and then go back'. He takes his role very seriously, and would probably make a very good waiter. He serves out the fake food which is stuck to fake plates, and gives out the fake drinks (each of the fake items cost the teaching centre the equivalent of 75 pounds...a good example of how much money has been put into this place by the government). The other 6 students are with Freaky, going through a 'making a reservation' dialogue. After 15 mins the two groups swap over and everything is repeated.
After the 20 minute break between classes (where the kids go and chat and play together - i.e. have fun) I went to observe the airport class, again run by Freaky. This time, a good Korean teacher was helping her.
Freaky took 6 kids away, and made them go through the metal detector (which is real!), before entering a mock-up of the inside of a plane, with 6 real aircraft seats. Freaky pretended to be an air-stewardess and went along the seats with a trolley serving real drinks. I don't think she would make a real stewardess, however, as she is a) too loud, b) not nice c) unattractive d) really annoying. She then puts on a safety video from Korean Airlines (in English) and leaves the kids to it for 5 minutes while she does nothing. Then she tells them all to get out, and the next 6 students come in.
After the lesson I suggested to her that she stays with the students during the video, as they don't listen to any of the English, and check they do what it tells them to do (at least 4 of them had their seats back and trays down prior to take off). Freaky seemed to agree with me. However, I was later to find out that during the lunch break she was swearing her head off about me, saying how dare I tell her what to do after only being here for a day, blah blah blah. It was only a suggestion, which I put in a polite way, to help raise her teaching level above it's present one, which doesn't even register on the teacher abilty rating machine. I think she hates me. But I'd rather she hates me than loves me, or even likes me...so I'm happy with the outcome.
(That afternoon...)
Finally, it's the 'Mission Impossible' class. This will just be me and Mr. Ying. I'm asked if I am ok to do this class, as I haven't seen it before...but I say I think I can do it. Mr. Ying tells me there is much to prepare before class. This involves the complex procedure of cutting out pictures from printed out sheets, and putting them in small packets. These are then put around the Centre, both inside and out. The students will get some clues as to where these packets are, and must find them, bring them back to the classroom, stick the cut out pictures onto their paper, and then find the next packet. Mr. Ying explains that myself and he then do...absolutely nothing, before laughing and saying 'it's very easy' 5 times.
Mr. Ying insisted that I go with him to stick the packets to various places before the students arrive...although he had already showed me where they are put earlier in the day. He makes it worth my while by asking me to put my finger on the packet while he puts a piece of tape over it to attach it to wherever we might be (like the flag pole in the car park). I try to wonder off a bit when he gets to the sticking up the packets part, to see if he can do it all by himself. But he always calls me over to put my finger on it. I manage to get quite far sometimes, but always have to go back. I put my finger on the packet, holding it onto the pole while I watch Mr. Ying fumble around with the tape, finally snap a piece off the reel, and then completely miss the packet I am holding. He does this pretty often; his strike rate is around 1 in 3. But he will never break off another piece of tape...he will pick off the tape he missed with, which may take some time.
By the time we got around to the back of the building to stick up the last packets, I lost it with Mr. Ying. It was fascinating at first, but now it was torture. I was far behind him this time, and he waited for me to arrive just to hold my finger on the packet. I took the tape away from him, and trying not to sound pissed off, asked him to watch me do it. I snapped off a piece of tape, picked up the packet, stuck half of the tape to the packet and the other to the pole. Tadar! Look at that! He seemed impressed.
'Mr. Ying - you don't need another friggin' person to put their friggin' finger on the friggin' packet while you fumble around with the friggin' tape, and then after all that miss the friggin' thing anyway and it falls to the friggin' floor and friggin' blows away! We then have to go after the friggin' thing, and then start this whole friggin' palaver all over a friggin' gain, man!!!'. I really wanted to say that.
Back in the classroom, the students arrived, and I was to begin my first class. My Ying said I should explain to the students what they needed to do, and he would explain the rules, which are stuck on the wall (but not by Mr. Ying, I think). I went over what they needed to do...which was pretty straight forward. Mr. Ying went over the rules:
'Rule number one - Complete one mission at a time.' 'That means, complete one mission...at a time. You must finish one mission...before starting the next mission.' (Pointing to the words...) 'one mission...at a time'. 'One mission'. 'You understand 'mission'?'
'Yes' (said in a 'Oh for f&#ks sake get on with it' kind of way)
'It means...mission.' 'Something you...need to do.' 'Mission'. 'Only do one mission at a time'.
Unfortunately there were 5 rules. It's never right to interrupt a teacher infront of students, so I didn't, and he went through all 5. I had to turn away whenever a student gave me a 'Can't you do something?' type look.
As the kids ran out of the room, maybe to look for the first packet, maybe just to get out of the room, Mr. Ying said to me quietly 'You did good job. You explain it (to them) very well. You are a good teacher. I very happy you come'.
I felt so happy too.
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
Photos: Happy groups of students
I would be delighted to be in a small group with 3 girls. Maybe he is on the inside.
'Smile please! No? Can you just stand a little closer? No? You are not speaking to me today? Ok, fine.'
'Who's a lucky chap then??'
What was that?? What did you just say?!! Who taught you that word?'
Two together = confidence and unity against the evil that we find ourselves in a small group of 4 with.
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Kids arrive for an 'English experience week'
Monday
There were 32 of them. Some excited, some nervous, others nonchalant. They had come to the all swanky brand new teaching centre here in Gongju for 5 days of...I'm not quite sure what. They have all been hand-picked from various schools in the province, and are supposed to be the 'best students from each school'.
I said 'hello' as I walked though the small crowd gathered in the lobby. I got some 'hellos' back, but was stopped in my tracks by one girl who stood right infront of me. She said 'hello', immediately followed by 'I love you'. Now, that's a nice way to greet someone you have just met...and I do approve of it strongly. But these students are 15 years old. Someone somewhere between the age of the old lady I met last night and this little girl would be perfect. I reacted to this one by not reacting, as I thought she might have said it just to get a reaction. I tried to act cool, as if I hear that kind of thing all the time (thinking I might be able to pull off a kind of swarve 'James Bond' kind of teacher image, as these kids don't know me at all).
The image I thought I was creating was shattered a few hours later, as the same girl and several of her friends told me I look just like Ron Weasley in 'Harry Potter'. One of them even said 'he's ginger'...which is never funny. My hair is coloured...I got it done two weeks ago, but not ginger. If it had gone that colour then I would have worn a cap. I just think their English wasn't good enough for them to express themselves clearly. I'm not ginger.
The 'lessons'
The kids are split up into 3 classes of 12. I was asked to observe, as I guess it's all too complex for me to deal with still.
But the first event was a 'welcome talk'. Everyone went to the brand new, very nice auditorium. One of the leaders of the Centre spoke in ok English for a few minutes to welcome them, before completely out of the blue and seemingly mid sentence saying 'now look at the Korean flag' (that was on the stage). The national anthem was suddenly blasted out and we were all beckoned to stand. Maybe this is normal here.
Next up was the leader of us foreign teachers, Ellena. She went over the 'teaching centre rules' which flashed up on the swanky new big screen that appeared. One rule that sticks in my mind is 'You must have fun'. It kind of gave me that sinking feeling of what was to come over the next 5 days. If this rule is really necessary, then it seems the 'travelling freaky show' has come home and is about to thrill these lucky kids.
Luckily, the 'Smeallarella' show is reserved for when we visit poor kid's schools in the countryside. So the first activity here was 'ice breaker', where I assumed all the kids would get to know one another via fun games. They all went into the indoor 'sports' room (big classroom with no desks), and took part in 2 activities that were neither fun nor ice-breaking, and where the foreign teachers chatted among themselves while a Korean teacher did all the work. Great start.
When the kids looked really bored they were taken to the classrooms. I followed the crazy USA/Korean girl/woman teacher, as I was curious to find out what she is like on her own as a teacher. I soon found out.
As we walked down the corridor, the first word the poor kids heard screeching from her mouth was 'DON'T'. She shouted to them don't do this and don't do that...and ask me if you want to do anything other than breathe. She sat on her chair with wheels and said don't do this, and then pushed herself around the room and out into the corridor. Unfortunately she came back after a few seconds, still on her chair, and pointed to a sign near her desk that said 'No students allowed near the desk!'. She spoke quickly, and not to anyone in particular (except maybe the ceiling and wall at the back) as she told the kids about herself. There was no way she could know the English level of the kids, as they hadn't spoken. Amusingly, she asked 'do you understand?' when she had finished...and nodded her own head in an attempt to get the students to do the same (because they weren't). Just then, I noticed in the corner where I was sitting was a desk with a notice on it. It read 'Angie's Fan Mail'. Here the kids were invited to write fan mail to her. I read some from previous weeks and all said things like 'Angie we love you' and 'Angie you are so cute'. I really think she IS the kind of person who would write these notes herself. I wonder if she is a tad insecure?
The events that followed I won't go into, but it left no doubt that she was completely useless at: teaching; speaking to kids at a level where then can understand; communication in general; being quiet; not freaking everyone out.
Bet the kids were really looking forward to Tuesday.
There were 32 of them. Some excited, some nervous, others nonchalant. They had come to the all swanky brand new teaching centre here in Gongju for 5 days of...I'm not quite sure what. They have all been hand-picked from various schools in the province, and are supposed to be the 'best students from each school'.
I said 'hello' as I walked though the small crowd gathered in the lobby. I got some 'hellos' back, but was stopped in my tracks by one girl who stood right infront of me. She said 'hello', immediately followed by 'I love you'. Now, that's a nice way to greet someone you have just met...and I do approve of it strongly. But these students are 15 years old. Someone somewhere between the age of the old lady I met last night and this little girl would be perfect. I reacted to this one by not reacting, as I thought she might have said it just to get a reaction. I tried to act cool, as if I hear that kind of thing all the time (thinking I might be able to pull off a kind of swarve 'James Bond' kind of teacher image, as these kids don't know me at all).
The image I thought I was creating was shattered a few hours later, as the same girl and several of her friends told me I look just like Ron Weasley in 'Harry Potter'. One of them even said 'he's ginger'...which is never funny. My hair is coloured...I got it done two weeks ago, but not ginger. If it had gone that colour then I would have worn a cap. I just think their English wasn't good enough for them to express themselves clearly. I'm not ginger.
The 'lessons'
The kids are split up into 3 classes of 12. I was asked to observe, as I guess it's all too complex for me to deal with still.
But the first event was a 'welcome talk'. Everyone went to the brand new, very nice auditorium. One of the leaders of the Centre spoke in ok English for a few minutes to welcome them, before completely out of the blue and seemingly mid sentence saying 'now look at the Korean flag' (that was on the stage). The national anthem was suddenly blasted out and we were all beckoned to stand. Maybe this is normal here.
Next up was the leader of us foreign teachers, Ellena. She went over the 'teaching centre rules' which flashed up on the swanky new big screen that appeared. One rule that sticks in my mind is 'You must have fun'. It kind of gave me that sinking feeling of what was to come over the next 5 days. If this rule is really necessary, then it seems the 'travelling freaky show' has come home and is about to thrill these lucky kids.
Luckily, the 'Smeallarella' show is reserved for when we visit poor kid's schools in the countryside. So the first activity here was 'ice breaker', where I assumed all the kids would get to know one another via fun games. They all went into the indoor 'sports' room (big classroom with no desks), and took part in 2 activities that were neither fun nor ice-breaking, and where the foreign teachers chatted among themselves while a Korean teacher did all the work. Great start.
When the kids looked really bored they were taken to the classrooms. I followed the crazy USA/Korean girl/woman teacher, as I was curious to find out what she is like on her own as a teacher. I soon found out.
As we walked down the corridor, the first word the poor kids heard screeching from her mouth was 'DON'T'. She shouted to them don't do this and don't do that...and ask me if you want to do anything other than breathe. She sat on her chair with wheels and said don't do this, and then pushed herself around the room and out into the corridor. Unfortunately she came back after a few seconds, still on her chair, and pointed to a sign near her desk that said 'No students allowed near the desk!'. She spoke quickly, and not to anyone in particular (except maybe the ceiling and wall at the back) as she told the kids about herself. There was no way she could know the English level of the kids, as they hadn't spoken. Amusingly, she asked 'do you understand?' when she had finished...and nodded her own head in an attempt to get the students to do the same (because they weren't). Just then, I noticed in the corner where I was sitting was a desk with a notice on it. It read 'Angie's Fan Mail'. Here the kids were invited to write fan mail to her. I read some from previous weeks and all said things like 'Angie we love you' and 'Angie you are so cute'. I really think she IS the kind of person who would write these notes herself. I wonder if she is a tad insecure?
The events that followed I won't go into, but it left no doubt that she was completely useless at: teaching; speaking to kids at a level where then can understand; communication in general; being quiet; not freaking everyone out.
Bet the kids were really looking forward to Tuesday.
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