Le weekend dans le Seoul...

Friday evening I made it out of Gongju, and got on a bus to Seoul.

Here, the people are alive and the girls look like girls. I don't think anyone from Gongju comes to Seoul. On the underground train from the bus station to where my friend is living, I counted 32 attractive females in 45 minutes. In Gongju, over the 3 weeks I have been here, I have seen none at all. Slight concern is that if I don't leave this place every now and again, I just know I will begin promoting the females here to a league they shouldn't be in. It's the same for people working in offices who think, over time, that the only female employee who has one eye in the middle of her head but has nice perfume is actually not that bad.

Seoul was amazingly simple to navigate. The tube map looks very complicated, but it isn't, and all the signs around the stations make sense and never send you to places you don't want to go to. Where me mate Lee lives, it's a bit of an urban sprawl, but about 10 mins walk behind the blocks of flats are many many hills and forests...which is nice. They are teeming with Korean folk too...all out to try and find a pocket of fresh air to breathe, I guess.

We did go for a walk up a hill, and half way up it, among the trees, there was a library in a big tent. In it were children with books. I'm not quite sure why there is a library there...but there is. There are also many body building gadgets and exercise areas on many of the hills, each with a muscley Korean man waiting to impress anyone who walks past.

In the evening and late into the night, although far from the centre of Seoul, this place has lots of life. Gongju, my city-village doesn't, where the people are afraid to go out at night, I think in case they meet a girl. All the men are hiding in net bars, playing games and chatting to females from outside the city.

Unfortunately I had to return to Gongju on Sunday. I was hoping to catch up on some sleep on the 2 hour journey back...but this was to be impossible. As I sat in my seat, I realised I was being watched...by a very large, mean looking bald foreigner. He moved closer. As he opened his mouth to speak, I could only think one thing - don't be a weird American. He spoke.

'I 'aint seeen yew ad'all in Gongjeew. Whereareya holed up?'

My second thought was 'Bollocks - he's an American. But is he weird?'.

As it turns out he was an American/Italian ...and boy did he talk. I soon found out that:

He is teaching 18-19 year old kids who hate him because he called a certain sea the 'Japanese Sea' (the Koreans hate Japan and so call it something else). Not just that...he tried to prove to all of them it is called the Japanese Sea by looking it up on the internet. It is called the Japanese Sea...but if you are in Korea and they want to call it something else...then go with it. He said it was like a war and he had to prove he was right. He said he has put the topic in their exam they will have next week. He will lose.

He is also a 'broken war veteran'. He told me this, although I didn't ask about his past cause I only met him a few minutes ago. He has been in Korea for a number of years, and has a Japanese girlfriend, although he liked to brag that he cheats on her and sees Korean girls too. What a nice chap.

After an hour of non-stop talking, it was good to hear him say that he is going to get some sleep for the last hour of the journey. I think everyone else was happy too, as he was the only one talking and he was very loud. But sadly, he lied. I found out he was close enough to touch me, because he did...on my knee (which he then did several more times), and said excitedly:

'Hey, 'dya like soccer? I play soccer. I love it. I got coaching badges and everything. I've coached kids in Japan before and offered to coach the kids at my school too but they don't want me. I've taken teams from the bottom of the table who had lost all their games, right to the top. I did....(blah), then I... (blah) and also... (blah). I keep goal you know. There was this game the other day and this kids hits a PK just right, and I dive to my left and stop it. The parents watching all clapped and were saying 'wow great save'. There was this other kid who went to head the ball just as I was going to punch it and I hit him hard in the face. He went down, and it was so funny...he was lyin' there and that, holding his head. He won't do that again. You should come and have a game next Sunday. But it's kinda early. They start at 6am cause they have school later. I'll get your number when we get off.'

He continued (loudly)...

'They'd love to have someone from England play. Hey - you know England will host the next World Cup cause Africa wont be ready. You got some great players in that team...umm..like Dave Rooney. Brazil will be good though cause they got some younger ones coming through like Ronaldhino and Christian Ronaldo' (who is Portugese and plays for Portugal).

'You know the last World cup I was so pleased cause Italy beat France. My family are from Italy and I was there then. But they weren't meant to win it, cause France, Germany and Portugal got together and told Italy they were not allowed to win it, cause they didn't want them to have more world cups than them. So the team was told to lose...but the manager, at half time said 'fu#% this' told the players to go out and win it. Then when they won it everyone was so pissed! (annoyed). Nobody important came to present the cup. Didn't you know all this man?? Just after the final, France cut off the electricity supply to Italy...so my family's electric bill went up no end and they were real pissed. But then a few months later Italy played France and we let them win... and then they turned the power back on. We get most of out power from France cause they got nuclear power stations. They don't want them in Italy cause of what happened in Chernobyl'.

He said lots more - mainly about a board game he plays...like Risk but about World War II. He explained all the rules to me, and everything that happened in the last game he played, and the people who played it. I'm not sure why. I hardly spoke, I pretended to go to sleep, I looked around the bus, I stared at him in an expressionless 'just stop' way...but he went on until the journey ended. He asked for my number and said I didn't have a phone. But I gave him an e-mail address that I don't use very often. He seemed surprised I didn't have a phone, and that I couldn't remember the name of the school I worked at either, and that I didn't even know my home address. He asked me to reply to his e-mail in a way that suggested he knows I won't.

It's fitting that he is living here in Gongju…I wouldn't have placed him anywhere else. Only surprise is he is not working at my school.