During times when there are no kids camps sceduled, us foreign 'teachers' have quite an easy time of it. There are the school visits (travelling freak shows), but there are usually only 2 of those in a week, and we are only 'working' for about 3 hours. We get paid extra for this would you believe. So the other days, when there is nothing on, are spent doing whatever we want...as long as we come to work from 9am-6pm. Recently I and Paul have been playing corridor football - a great game with a sponge football. The corridors here are very long, and the aim is to try and blast the ball beyond the other person. It is fun, but frustrating that I cannot beat someone who is both shorter and wider than me, and who is from Canada which is not renowned for it's football. Paul also gloats endlessly. He knows that, although to many people, this silly game with a sponge ball may not seem important such is the tedium of working only with incompetant muppets, this has become the highlight of the week for both of us. It's a great energy release, without which there may be violence towards certain muppets ...and their gramatically incorrect signs that are everywhere. I have never beaten Paul, so I guess his frustration must be greater than mine.
'You Call We Go'
To fill up a free day, the management here had a fantastic idea. A new service for any of the teachers who had participated in the elementary or secondary school training programs was set up. It is called 'You Call, We Go'. This catchy title was to imply that if any teacher who had been trained by us was having a problem implementing some of the great ideas taught by the muppets into their lessons in their own school, then they could call us for help. We would then jump into the bus and dash to their school to observe one of their lessons, then provide helpful feedback - and so solve the problem. It's kind of like Superman helping people in need. At least, that's how it is intended to be seen. Actually the teacher who requests our assisstance needs to tell us 3 weeks in advance, and send us his/her lesson plan. The teacher will also get given points which can enhance his/her career prospects in the future...so it's not so much a cry for help, but more a chance for a one lucky teacher to stage a well rehersed demonstraion lesson to help them get a pay rise.
So...we did receive that call. A teacher was in desperate need of our assistance. Two weeks later, we were called to a meeting for a briefing before rushing off the following week to wherever we were told to go. All I could think was...I hope we are not too damn late.
In the meeting, we were told that one of the elementary school teachers wants us to observe her lesson and we were given her lesson plan. We would oberve the lesson, then give our opinions on the lesson. We were also told that each of us (5) would have to give a lecture to lots of other Korean teacher trainees who had been invited to attend. Our lectures were to be a staggering 10 minutes long, and could be about...anything we liked. Crazy Koean/American said she thought it would be fun, and planned to talk about her life in Hollywood. BFA Pete said he would talk about his time on Broadway. Ellena said she would talk about bunny rabbits and other cute things with fur. Jerrald said he would talk about 'some things'. He wouldn't say what, as he wanted it to be a surprise. Others tried to guess, and agreed that it was probably going to be about spaceships. Jerrald looked annoyed - I think they had guessed. But then came the devestating news that the lectures should be related to teaching...and be relevant to the trainees who would be there. Suddenly there was silence. BFA Pete was the first to speak, and asked what the word 'relevant' meant. Jerrald then asked if he could talk about his uncle, who he is related to, and is a teacher. He was told 'no'. Crazy Korean/USA girl then said she would rather talk about Hollywood, as it is more interesting than teaching...which is a boring topic. The supervisor in charge then explained that as they are all teachers themsleves, they should be able to think of suitable topics to talk about for 10 minutes...related to teaching. Jerrald then suddenly spoke out, happily repeating that his uncle is realated to him, but seemingly forgetting this idea had just been rejected two minutes earlier. There followed silence, open mouths, and blank expressions. I then asked the supervisor who is it we are going to observe. Out of the 71 trainees that we had taught in the summer, only one had asked for our 'help'. And who was this?? The Girl Who Was Once Nice...who hasnt spoken to me for weeks and who hates my guts. I joined the others by opening my mouth and staring into thin air, expressionless. 71 people...why her?
The day arrived sooner than I wanted, and although I had prayed to be ill, I wasn't. As this is all I have asked Him for, I think He (God) doesnt exist, or does but is a bastrd. When we arrived The Girl Who Was Once Nice was greeting everyone. But when I got nearer to the door she went away. We observed her lesson. It was well planned and the kids seemed to know everything and do exactly as they were told. It was the perfect lesson, and I guess had been practised many times. Former Nice Girl didn't look at me once. I guess she might not have been feeling very comfortable with me observing her...but I wasnt exactly comfortable either. After the lesson came the feedback. I was asked to comment, and said some nice words about her teaching. She just looked down and nodded. Then I was asked to give some 'constructive critisism'. So I said that asking the question 'Do you understand?' to a class of 30 kids (as she had done) is pretty pointless, as they all say 'yes'...but many probably don't. I suggested a better way to check understanding. Former Nice Girl did not look at all happy... and I thought maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But it was too late. Oh well...it's not like we will ever have to meet again. After that came the lectures. BFA Pete talked about jigsaw puzzles, Jerrald talked about using Excel spreadsheets to write a diary, Ellena talked about schools in Canada, and I can't remember what Crazy K/A talked about. I talked about puppies. When we left The Girl Who Was Once Nice took great care to stay well away from me, and didn't even make eye contact. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me.
The other day where we actually had to do something was on Wednesday, when we all got on the bus to go to another poor school somewhere in the countryside.
This one I was not looking forward to, as the Korean teacher who usually plays one of the ugly sisters was in Nepal half way up mount Everest. Ths boss therefore asked me to stand in. In fact, the boss was too scared to ask me, so got Ellena to ask instead. I said no, but it turned out that it wasn't really a question. In the end Ellena said I have to do it cause the boss said so. The only other person who could do it was BFA Pete, but the thought of a 63 year old balding American in a dress made me agree to do it. Sometimes I have to put the kids first, and there is no knowing what that could do to kids so early in their lives. I was annoyed because I swore that I would never dress up as a woman and make a fool of myself in this ridiculous Smellarella performance. I trid one last attempt to get out of it by saying I couldn't rememeber my lines. But someone pointed out that I don't really have any lines, I am just there so the kids laugh at me.
I looked ok, with ample bosom provided by two medium sized balloons, and nice long hair. I refused to take my trousers off, but did roll them up to my knees. I was forced to wear lipstick and blusher, but did look pretty damn gorgeous before I went on stage. I managed to convince everyone I was really not happy about this situation, and avoided the photographer...so there is no photographic record of this. As it happens, the performance was played out to another stunned audience who made far less noise than the foreigners on the stage...as usual.
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