Friday evening I made it out of Gongju, and got on a bus to Seoul.
Here, the people are alive and the girls look like girls. I don't think anyone from Gongju comes to Seoul. On the underground train from the bus station to where my friend is living, I counted 32 attractive females in 45 minutes. In Gongju, over the 3 weeks I have been here, I have seen none at all. Slight concern is that if I don't leave this place every now and again, I just know I will begin promoting the females here to a league they shouldn't be in. It's the same for people working in offices who think, over time, that the only female employee who has one eye in the middle of her head but has nice perfume is actually not that bad.
Seoul was amazingly simple to navigate. The tube map looks very complicated, but it isn't, and all the signs around the stations make sense and never send you to places you don't want to go to. Where me mate Lee lives, it's a bit of an urban sprawl, but about 10 mins walk behind the blocks of flats are many many hills and forests...which is nice. They are teeming with Korean folk too...all out to try and find a pocket of fresh air to breathe, I guess.
We did go for a walk up a hill, and half way up it, among the trees, there was a library in a big tent. In it were children with books. I'm not quite sure why there is a library there...but there is. There are also many body building gadgets and exercise areas on many of the hills, each with a muscley Korean man waiting to impress anyone who walks past.
In the evening and late into the night, although far from the centre of Seoul, this place has lots of life. Gongju, my city-village doesn't, where the people are afraid to go out at night, I think in case they meet a girl. All the men are hiding in net bars, playing games and chatting to females from outside the city.
Unfortunately I had to return to Gongju on Sunday. I was hoping to catch up on some sleep on the 2 hour journey back...but this was to be impossible. As I sat in my seat, I realised I was being watched...by a very large, mean looking bald foreigner. He moved closer. As he opened his mouth to speak, I could only think one thing - don't be a weird American. He spoke.
'I 'aint seeen yew ad'all in Gongjeew. Whereareya holed up?'
My second thought was 'Bollocks - he's an American. But is he weird?'.
As it turns out he was an American/Italian ...and boy did he talk. I soon found out that:
He is teaching 18-19 year old kids who hate him because he called a certain sea the 'Japanese Sea' (the Koreans hate Japan and so call it something else). Not just that...he tried to prove to all of them it is called the Japanese Sea by looking it up on the internet. It is called the Japanese Sea...but if you are in Korea and they want to call it something else...then go with it. He said it was like a war and he had to prove he was right. He said he has put the topic in their exam they will have next week. He will lose.
He is also a 'broken war veteran'. He told me this, although I didn't ask about his past cause I only met him a few minutes ago. He has been in Korea for a number of years, and has a Japanese girlfriend, although he liked to brag that he cheats on her and sees Korean girls too. What a nice chap.
After an hour of non-stop talking, it was good to hear him say that he is going to get some sleep for the last hour of the journey. I think everyone else was happy too, as he was the only one talking and he was very loud. But sadly, he lied. I found out he was close enough to touch me, because he did...on my knee (which he then did several more times), and said excitedly:
'Hey, 'dya like soccer? I play soccer. I love it. I got coaching badges and everything. I've coached kids in Japan before and offered to coach the kids at my school too but they don't want me. I've taken teams from the bottom of the table who had lost all their games, right to the top. I did....(blah), then I... (blah) and also... (blah). I keep goal you know. There was this game the other day and this kids hits a PK just right, and I dive to my left and stop it. The parents watching all clapped and were saying 'wow great save'. There was this other kid who went to head the ball just as I was going to punch it and I hit him hard in the face. He went down, and it was so funny...he was lyin' there and that, holding his head. He won't do that again. You should come and have a game next Sunday. But it's kinda early. They start at 6am cause they have school later. I'll get your number when we get off.'
He continued (loudly)...
'They'd love to have someone from England play. Hey - you know England will host the next World Cup cause Africa wont be ready. You got some great players in that team...umm..like Dave Rooney. Brazil will be good though cause they got some younger ones coming through like Ronaldhino and Christian Ronaldo' (who is Portugese and plays for Portugal).
'You know the last World cup I was so pleased cause Italy beat France. My family are from Italy and I was there then. But they weren't meant to win it, cause France, Germany and Portugal got together and told Italy they were not allowed to win it, cause they didn't want them to have more world cups than them. So the team was told to lose...but the manager, at half time said 'fu#% this' told the players to go out and win it. Then when they won it everyone was so pissed! (annoyed). Nobody important came to present the cup. Didn't you know all this man?? Just after the final, France cut off the electricity supply to Italy...so my family's electric bill went up no end and they were real pissed. But then a few months later Italy played France and we let them win... and then they turned the power back on. We get most of out power from France cause they got nuclear power stations. They don't want them in Italy cause of what happened in Chernobyl'.
He said lots more - mainly about a board game he plays...like Risk but about World War II. He explained all the rules to me, and everything that happened in the last game he played, and the people who played it. I'm not sure why. I hardly spoke, I pretended to go to sleep, I looked around the bus, I stared at him in an expressionless 'just stop' way...but he went on until the journey ended. He asked for my number and said I didn't have a phone. But I gave him an e-mail address that I don't use very often. He seemed surprised I didn't have a phone, and that I couldn't remember the name of the school I worked at either, and that I didn't even know my home address. He asked me to reply to his e-mail in a way that suggested he knows I won't.
It's fitting that he is living here in Gongju…I wouldn't have placed him anywhere else. Only surprise is he is not working at my school.
Monday, 25 June 2007
Saturday, 23 June 2007
Week 3 - The next group arrive for their sentence....
The third week has come to an end, and it was as I expected...exactly the same as last week, only with different students. The changes to the program that were suggested will take some time to be approved, although they are minor compared to what really needs to be done. A lot of wood is needed to put around the building, and a box of matches to light it. I will happily stoke the fire, as all the other foreign 'teachers' will still be in the building. I doubt many will notice it's on fire.
This week...
Big Friendly American, Pete, loses it with the kids again. He humiliates one in his class for not listening, and squirts water at others who then hate him. He thinks they find it funny. It's a repeat of last week and I don't think he will ever get it. In the 'Sports English' class he humiliates a nice girl for talking and asks her to take over the lesson. It's painful to watch (if I intervened I felt he would explode, so I didn't). All the students go quiet (he keeps telling me that he just wants the kids to 'have fun'. Guess he doesn't mean today.) Pete calls the activity 'musical mats' - which is like musical chairs. The 15 year old pubescent students are to dance around the room to the theme tune of 'Fame', and sit on a mat when the music stops. They don't want to do this, because they are 15 and not 5. It goes on 'till the painful end, however.
The students have important exams next week I discover. Some tell me they would rather be at home or school preparing for them. I asked one if she thinks it is a waste of time coming here because they don't learn anything and a lot of it is boring. She said 'yes'.
Some students are happy though, I think because they can make new friends and they are staying away from their parents for the first time. One Korean teacher stays with them at night to keep an eye on them...and this week it was Mr. Yang (my partner). The main rule Mr. Yang should enforce is to make sure all the students go to bed at 10pm and get a good nights sleep.
On Tuesday morning when I went to my classroom Mr. Yang was already there, and I just about made out what he said:
'The students...stay up all night....talking. I no sleep. Order pizza! All of them! Pizza...from the town. All night they talk. I can't sleep. Talk talk talk. Many mischievous students. I so tired. Many study...but no lights! Hahaha! They try to study but it's dark! (chuckles again; smile disappears...) I so tired'.
Mr. Yang still fascinates me. He will sit in my room all day to avoid the other Korean teachers, and his bosses. He has nothing much to do at all, and will read text books. I cannot get much done when he is there as he will talk forever about history, politics, and religion, and I still can only understand 50% of it. I am interested in 0% of it, but he cannot read the signals I send him to indicate this. He hears what he wants to hear, and says what he wants to say. He IS a nice man, but he DOES drive people insane, and the other foreign teachers are relieved not to be working with him. Whenever I leave the room he will jump into my seat and use the internet, and will always go to the same web page - biblegateway.com, which is always left open for me to 'discover'. He has told me several times that he wrote a text book for schools, and keeps showing it to me. But the thing is it was not accepted and never printed. He insists on taking me to lunch every Thursday, but I know this is really so he can avoid going with all the other teachers (guess I can understand that. They all go with Pete to eat at a dog restaurant). He went to Oxford for a couple of weeks many years ago for a seminar about teaching. He got a certificate for turning up and now, every day without fail, tells me he has a qualification from Oxford University. He has read a lot about English history, and tells me about that every day too. This week, he keeps mentioning Oliver Cromwell, and tells me he thinks the new leader of Korea is like him. I have no real idea of what he is talking about, which is pretty much the norm. Unfortunately neither do any of the students when he is explaining what they have to do in the exciting 'Mission Impossible' activity that we do together. After the explanation, all the students should rush off looking for small packets placed around the school. This week, after Mr. Yang's explanation, which ended with an excited 'NOW GO!', the whole class sat motionless. The worrying thing is he explained everything to them in Korean.
This weeks quotes from the Big, Not Quite So Friendly This Week American, Pete:
The topic was football:
(Me to Pete): So do you watch much football? Oh, I guess I should day 'soccer'?
(Pete to me): I have a question for you...do you guys (British people) have another name for rugby?
Me: No.
Pete: So why do you have another name for soccer?
I don't think Pete has been out of America for long, somehow. This feeling was reinforced when he and I introduced ourselves to a group of new students:
'Now, see if you can tell where this guy (pointing at me) is from. Listen to the way he talks'.
I was about to speak when he came out with these stunning words:
'He has what we call an 'accent'. People from England, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, and to a lesser extent, Canada, all have strong accents'.
Pete seems eternally trapped in the small world known as 'America'. He truly believes he doesn't have an accent. I did point out to him that he has an American accent...to which there was no response.
On Friday Pete came into my room and told me he thinks the students bond with me really well, which is nice. This might be due to a group of about 10 of them who have been shouting out 'Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David. Sorry!' all week long. They repeat it many times and find it very funny. They do it to drive me mad, and I am not sad they that they have all gone now.
A girl came up to me and handed me a letter before she left, and in it she tells me that she loves me…which is nice. And one other said she wants to marry me, and when I suggested a time of next Monday lunchtime, she said 'ok'. I'm not sure why they feel this way towards me, as I often amuse myself by taking sweets and money from them (but it's not real money – this place prints it's own play money for the kids to use in the special 'real life' venues). I have quite a stack of this fake money, and will soon open a fake bank account at the fake bank next week. I'll see what response I get from the fake teachers when I tell them what I have done.
On Monday, a group of 12 year olds will arrive at the fake school for 'the time of their lives'. I have prepared a special sign for them that I will put at the entrance. It says 'TURN BACK NOW', written in blood. I hope they understand.
This week...
Big Friendly American, Pete, loses it with the kids again. He humiliates one in his class for not listening, and squirts water at others who then hate him. He thinks they find it funny. It's a repeat of last week and I don't think he will ever get it. In the 'Sports English' class he humiliates a nice girl for talking and asks her to take over the lesson. It's painful to watch (if I intervened I felt he would explode, so I didn't). All the students go quiet (he keeps telling me that he just wants the kids to 'have fun'. Guess he doesn't mean today.) Pete calls the activity 'musical mats' - which is like musical chairs. The 15 year old pubescent students are to dance around the room to the theme tune of 'Fame', and sit on a mat when the music stops. They don't want to do this, because they are 15 and not 5. It goes on 'till the painful end, however.
The students have important exams next week I discover. Some tell me they would rather be at home or school preparing for them. I asked one if she thinks it is a waste of time coming here because they don't learn anything and a lot of it is boring. She said 'yes'.
Some students are happy though, I think because they can make new friends and they are staying away from their parents for the first time. One Korean teacher stays with them at night to keep an eye on them...and this week it was Mr. Yang (my partner). The main rule Mr. Yang should enforce is to make sure all the students go to bed at 10pm and get a good nights sleep.
On Tuesday morning when I went to my classroom Mr. Yang was already there, and I just about made out what he said:
'The students...stay up all night....talking. I no sleep. Order pizza! All of them! Pizza...from the town. All night they talk. I can't sleep. Talk talk talk. Many mischievous students. I so tired. Many study...but no lights! Hahaha! They try to study but it's dark! (chuckles again; smile disappears...) I so tired'.
Mr. Yang still fascinates me. He will sit in my room all day to avoid the other Korean teachers, and his bosses. He has nothing much to do at all, and will read text books. I cannot get much done when he is there as he will talk forever about history, politics, and religion, and I still can only understand 50% of it. I am interested in 0% of it, but he cannot read the signals I send him to indicate this. He hears what he wants to hear, and says what he wants to say. He IS a nice man, but he DOES drive people insane, and the other foreign teachers are relieved not to be working with him. Whenever I leave the room he will jump into my seat and use the internet, and will always go to the same web page - biblegateway.com, which is always left open for me to 'discover'. He has told me several times that he wrote a text book for schools, and keeps showing it to me. But the thing is it was not accepted and never printed. He insists on taking me to lunch every Thursday, but I know this is really so he can avoid going with all the other teachers (guess I can understand that. They all go with Pete to eat at a dog restaurant). He went to Oxford for a couple of weeks many years ago for a seminar about teaching. He got a certificate for turning up and now, every day without fail, tells me he has a qualification from Oxford University. He has read a lot about English history, and tells me about that every day too. This week, he keeps mentioning Oliver Cromwell, and tells me he thinks the new leader of Korea is like him. I have no real idea of what he is talking about, which is pretty much the norm. Unfortunately neither do any of the students when he is explaining what they have to do in the exciting 'Mission Impossible' activity that we do together. After the explanation, all the students should rush off looking for small packets placed around the school. This week, after Mr. Yang's explanation, which ended with an excited 'NOW GO!', the whole class sat motionless. The worrying thing is he explained everything to them in Korean.
This weeks quotes from the Big, Not Quite So Friendly This Week American, Pete:
The topic was football:
(Me to Pete): So do you watch much football? Oh, I guess I should day 'soccer'?
(Pete to me): I have a question for you...do you guys (British people) have another name for rugby?
Me: No.
Pete: So why do you have another name for soccer?
I don't think Pete has been out of America for long, somehow. This feeling was reinforced when he and I introduced ourselves to a group of new students:
'Now, see if you can tell where this guy (pointing at me) is from. Listen to the way he talks'.
I was about to speak when he came out with these stunning words:
'He has what we call an 'accent'. People from England, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, and to a lesser extent, Canada, all have strong accents'.
Pete seems eternally trapped in the small world known as 'America'. He truly believes he doesn't have an accent. I did point out to him that he has an American accent...to which there was no response.
On Friday Pete came into my room and told me he thinks the students bond with me really well, which is nice. This might be due to a group of about 10 of them who have been shouting out 'Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David, Hi David. Sorry!' all week long. They repeat it many times and find it very funny. They do it to drive me mad, and I am not sad they that they have all gone now.
A girl came up to me and handed me a letter before she left, and in it she tells me that she loves me…which is nice. And one other said she wants to marry me, and when I suggested a time of next Monday lunchtime, she said 'ok'. I'm not sure why they feel this way towards me, as I often amuse myself by taking sweets and money from them (but it's not real money – this place prints it's own play money for the kids to use in the special 'real life' venues). I have quite a stack of this fake money, and will soon open a fake bank account at the fake bank next week. I'll see what response I get from the fake teachers when I tell them what I have done.
On Monday, a group of 12 year olds will arrive at the fake school for 'the time of their lives'. I have prepared a special sign for them that I will put at the entrance. It says 'TURN BACK NOW', written in blood. I hope they understand.
Monday, 18 June 2007
End of 'Come see the Monkeys' (Week one).
Wednesday
Today the lucky students had Sports English. This was a bit of a lie, as there was no English involved. Big friendly American nutter Pete took 24 of the 36 kids outside, and took a thick, long rope with him. I was to follow and observe, as I was supposed to be doing this jointly with Pete next week. The rope was laid out on the ground. Nothing was explained to the kids as they were divided into 2 groups, told to pick up each end, and pull. Nobody had told them this is what they would do...and they looked a bit uneasy with the task. The group with had far more boys than the other group won it, surprisingly. They were told to do it again...and the result was the same.
The next game Pete got them to play was Dodge Ball. Here, students launched the ball at each other as hard as they could throw it. I watched the looks of terror on all but one of the girls' faces. Pete tells me that the rule is to throw it below waist height...just as one girl was blasted on the head. Once again, the boys dominated and most of the girls became lemmings, running towards the person with the ball and asking to be hit gently. They would help each other get eliminated without being obliterated. Pete seemed oblivious to this, as once the game was over he told them to play it twice more. The girls had so much fun.
Later that day I watched Pete lesson, which was about the clinic and pharmacy (as they have real-life mock-ups of these as well here). Before the lesson began he sat at his desk with a water gun, and fired it at unsuspecting students. None were amused at getting soaked, but Pete found it funny. He got one girl full in the face and, humiliated in front of her classmates, was almost in tears. But jolly ole Pete was once again oblivious. In his world, everyone was havin' fun.
For 40 minutes he lectured them about a whole load of medical stuff completely irrelevant to 15 year old Korean kids. They hardly understood him as he used many words they have never heard of. One kid, obviously bored, started talking to his friend...and Pete humiliated him by yelling at him for about a minute...asking if he would like to take over the lesson. For Korean kids to lose face in that way is really bad. It was embarrassing to watch. I was asked to explain all about medical insurance to the class. I did this, but as it was boring and irrelevant to the kids I tried to elicit a lot instead of lecture them. Unfortunately, Pete shouted out the answers, as if to tell me not to do it this way. I ignored him and carried on. He continued to shout out answers before the kids had a chance. What an annoying tit. I did snap at him after a while and he shut up. Afterwards, he said I did ok. He asked me:
'Is this the first time you have taught here?'
'No'
'Did you feel nervous?'
'No - you arse. But I AM nervous watching you!' (didn't say the bit after 'no')
Ear Doctor...
Went back to see this nice chap, as was still almost deaf in one ear. He told me the ear drum is still badly infected. Great. Then he got some long tweezer type things and said 'this will be very painful'. It's so nice to be warned in such an honest way. I was sweating before he was anywhere near me. As it turned out, it wasn't painful at all. He pulled something out...and I could hear a little better. He then said he would dress the infection, and that this time it would be 'very painful', and I was 'not to move at all'. Wonderful words again...which I heard very loud and clear, and the sweat began again...but this time much more so. But it didn't hurt at all! Either the Koreans have a very low pain threshold, or this chap is very good. Well, whichever it is, when he had finished I was very happy, and was very nice to him. I would describe my feeling of relief similar to that displayed by a dog when the vet has finished making it suffer; it is suddenly full of beans, wagging it's tail real fast and giving excited licks to everyone, jumping all over the place. I think I looked a bit like that. I also told him I thought his English was very good, and that it is harsh he has to work a 6 day week. I believe I may have made a slight tit of myself. Well anyway, at least I could hear a better now..and that did make me feel more awake. So much so, in fact, I suddenly realised what a nightmare this teaching experience might be. I could think clearly now, and I wished I had taken any one of the other positions I had been offered. I was 95% sure I would hand in my notice by the end of the week...and by the end of the evening was really depressed! Didn't last though, as...
...Thursday
was an ok day. The kids were all happy, and no one had called me Ron Wealsey since Tuesday (cause I am not ginger). I took my own classes and made them fun. In the early evening I continued to train two groups (out of 6) that I had been helping all week with 'skit practice' - they were to act out a couple of short plays (Handel and Gretel, and something else I had never heard of). The competition between students is fierce in Korean schools, and is continued here. All the performances would be judged. My group was due to be taken over by Pete today...but he was needed by another teacher who wanted his advice (?!). I had seen him try to teach them how to act before...and they didn't seem to follow his hugely exaggerated expressions, loud booming voice and impressive theatrics, maybe because these were 15 year old Korean kids who are, compared to American kids anyway, the shyest in the world. This didn't stop Pete from criticizing them continuously. 'Why can't they just do what I do?!' he said. He will never get it I think...his mind has never left America.
Friday
Competition day. Before the performances began Pete came over to have a word:
'Hey Dave, what kind of acting have you done?'
'Umm...none'
'No? Me – two years on Broadway.'
I think I was supposed to be really impressed and go 'WOW', so I said:
'WOW! Really?? That's amazing!' (he believed me!).
'Yeah. Could have been there a long time - if it weren't for the drink.'
'Hmm. Oh well...'
Now the result is not important to me, but as it happens my two groups came 1st and 2nd. I was happy for the kids, naturally, and said nothing to Pete, who said nothing to me. Sometimes silence is great. I could feel the uneasiness in the air. Oh well, never mind.
The kids were released at lunchtime, and taken back to their schools. They actually seemed sad to be going, as they took a long time to leave.
There was a 'review' meeting that followed, and I was asked to say what I thought of it all. I was very diplomatic, but sort of get across I the fact I thought it wasn't very good. I made some suggestions, and to my surprise they didn't bite my head off...and even agreed with me! I was expecting to decide to leave after this meeting, but I might give it a bit longer now. Another reason to stay is that a bit later on, they were shouting and yelling at each other, but were being very nice to me. That I don't mind so much, cause it was funny to watch.
36 more fortuate kids will arrive on Monday...that is unless word has got out that this place is %#&!@.
Today the lucky students had Sports English. This was a bit of a lie, as there was no English involved. Big friendly American nutter Pete took 24 of the 36 kids outside, and took a thick, long rope with him. I was to follow and observe, as I was supposed to be doing this jointly with Pete next week. The rope was laid out on the ground. Nothing was explained to the kids as they were divided into 2 groups, told to pick up each end, and pull. Nobody had told them this is what they would do...and they looked a bit uneasy with the task. The group with had far more boys than the other group won it, surprisingly. They were told to do it again...and the result was the same.
The next game Pete got them to play was Dodge Ball. Here, students launched the ball at each other as hard as they could throw it. I watched the looks of terror on all but one of the girls' faces. Pete tells me that the rule is to throw it below waist height...just as one girl was blasted on the head. Once again, the boys dominated and most of the girls became lemmings, running towards the person with the ball and asking to be hit gently. They would help each other get eliminated without being obliterated. Pete seemed oblivious to this, as once the game was over he told them to play it twice more. The girls had so much fun.
Later that day I watched Pete lesson, which was about the clinic and pharmacy (as they have real-life mock-ups of these as well here). Before the lesson began he sat at his desk with a water gun, and fired it at unsuspecting students. None were amused at getting soaked, but Pete found it funny. He got one girl full in the face and, humiliated in front of her classmates, was almost in tears. But jolly ole Pete was once again oblivious. In his world, everyone was havin' fun.
For 40 minutes he lectured them about a whole load of medical stuff completely irrelevant to 15 year old Korean kids. They hardly understood him as he used many words they have never heard of. One kid, obviously bored, started talking to his friend...and Pete humiliated him by yelling at him for about a minute...asking if he would like to take over the lesson. For Korean kids to lose face in that way is really bad. It was embarrassing to watch. I was asked to explain all about medical insurance to the class. I did this, but as it was boring and irrelevant to the kids I tried to elicit a lot instead of lecture them. Unfortunately, Pete shouted out the answers, as if to tell me not to do it this way. I ignored him and carried on. He continued to shout out answers before the kids had a chance. What an annoying tit. I did snap at him after a while and he shut up. Afterwards, he said I did ok. He asked me:
'Is this the first time you have taught here?'
'No'
'Did you feel nervous?'
'No - you arse. But I AM nervous watching you!' (didn't say the bit after 'no')
Ear Doctor...
Went back to see this nice chap, as was still almost deaf in one ear. He told me the ear drum is still badly infected. Great. Then he got some long tweezer type things and said 'this will be very painful'. It's so nice to be warned in such an honest way. I was sweating before he was anywhere near me. As it turned out, it wasn't painful at all. He pulled something out...and I could hear a little better. He then said he would dress the infection, and that this time it would be 'very painful', and I was 'not to move at all'. Wonderful words again...which I heard very loud and clear, and the sweat began again...but this time much more so. But it didn't hurt at all! Either the Koreans have a very low pain threshold, or this chap is very good. Well, whichever it is, when he had finished I was very happy, and was very nice to him. I would describe my feeling of relief similar to that displayed by a dog when the vet has finished making it suffer; it is suddenly full of beans, wagging it's tail real fast and giving excited licks to everyone, jumping all over the place. I think I looked a bit like that. I also told him I thought his English was very good, and that it is harsh he has to work a 6 day week. I believe I may have made a slight tit of myself. Well anyway, at least I could hear a better now..and that did make me feel more awake. So much so, in fact, I suddenly realised what a nightmare this teaching experience might be. I could think clearly now, and I wished I had taken any one of the other positions I had been offered. I was 95% sure I would hand in my notice by the end of the week...and by the end of the evening was really depressed! Didn't last though, as...
...Thursday
was an ok day. The kids were all happy, and no one had called me Ron Wealsey since Tuesday (cause I am not ginger). I took my own classes and made them fun. In the early evening I continued to train two groups (out of 6) that I had been helping all week with 'skit practice' - they were to act out a couple of short plays (Handel and Gretel, and something else I had never heard of). The competition between students is fierce in Korean schools, and is continued here. All the performances would be judged. My group was due to be taken over by Pete today...but he was needed by another teacher who wanted his advice (?!). I had seen him try to teach them how to act before...and they didn't seem to follow his hugely exaggerated expressions, loud booming voice and impressive theatrics, maybe because these were 15 year old Korean kids who are, compared to American kids anyway, the shyest in the world. This didn't stop Pete from criticizing them continuously. 'Why can't they just do what I do?!' he said. He will never get it I think...his mind has never left America.
Friday
Competition day. Before the performances began Pete came over to have a word:
'Hey Dave, what kind of acting have you done?'
'Umm...none'
'No? Me – two years on Broadway.'
I think I was supposed to be really impressed and go 'WOW', so I said:
'WOW! Really?? That's amazing!' (he believed me!).
'Yeah. Could have been there a long time - if it weren't for the drink.'
'Hmm. Oh well...'
Now the result is not important to me, but as it happens my two groups came 1st and 2nd. I was happy for the kids, naturally, and said nothing to Pete, who said nothing to me. Sometimes silence is great. I could feel the uneasiness in the air. Oh well, never mind.
The kids were released at lunchtime, and taken back to their schools. They actually seemed sad to be going, as they took a long time to leave.
There was a 'review' meeting that followed, and I was asked to say what I thought of it all. I was very diplomatic, but sort of get across I the fact I thought it wasn't very good. I made some suggestions, and to my surprise they didn't bite my head off...and even agreed with me! I was expecting to decide to leave after this meeting, but I might give it a bit longer now. Another reason to stay is that a bit later on, they were shouting and yelling at each other, but were being very nice to me. That I don't mind so much, cause it was funny to watch.
36 more fortuate kids will arrive on Monday...that is unless word has got out that this place is %#&!@.
Friday, 15 June 2007
The first week...
Big Friendly American explains 'you are, under no cicumstances, allowed to put your hands on the table in this game of blow pingpong/soccer type game that you are about to partake in.' The students demonstrate their understanding of a marvelous explanation.
And...in the game of dodgeball, we are down to the last few girls who had, until now, successfully hid behind the boys. Now the boys are all out, it's time for them to get blasted with the ball. 'They love it' Big Friendly American claims as the last scream goes up, and the winners are declared. 'It'll toughen them up. They don't do anything like this in Korean schools'. Hmm.
Time for the surprise the kids have been practising for the foreign teachers. Oh...it's My Love by Westlife...just like last time, and with no music. Great.
A mixture of feelings and emotions before the kids leave at the end of the week. The girl in yellow wrote me a note saying she loves me and wants to marry me. The girl on the right wants us to be friends forever, and the girl on the left just couldn't give a shit, and is ready to go home.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Day 2 of 'English Camp - You MUST have fun'.
Tuesday.
I was to 'observe' all this week, and so it continued today. The kids, after day one, were pretty nervous at the sight of certain foreign teachers, but otherwise livelier. They had stayed together in a dormitory, and seemed to have got to know each other pretty well after the superb ice-breakers yesterday.
Today I followed a few classes around the 'English Experience Centre'. This is the impressive mock-ups of a post office, restaurant etc. from the West (meaning America). As I felt like a laugh, I watched freaky Korean/American girl first. She was doing the restaurant (this is what I will have to do next week), and then the airport was to follow with another class. Her partner for the first venue is none other than my new partner, Mr. Ying (name changed slightly for protection...but think I've already blown his cover previously - as I have for everyone).
Freaky teacher began as she meant to go on - by lining the kids up against the wall, and blasted them at the top of her voice with a flurry of restaurant-related words, in no particular order, and with her v. strong US accent.
'WAAAAIDER! (waiter);
WAAAAIDRESS! (waitress);
PLAAAYD! (plate);
DEESUUURT! (dessert);
STAAARDUR! (starter)
....and many others. Amazingly all the kids survived this onslaught. Half were then led away by Freaky, and the other 6 were left with Mr. Ying...so either way, they lost.
Mr. Ying, dressed as a waiter, went through the simple dialogue that each of them was to repeat. He has an incredible way of turning clear, written English into a whole new language when it is spoken. The meaning of a word is not so much explained, but is repeated about 5 times instead, then the sentence it is in is repeated 3 times, pointing to the word of confusion. He will finish with 'Do you understand?'. The students are stuck on auto-'yes' whenever they hear this question, and it only takes one person to say it.
Mr. Ying then acts as a waiter. I watched from near the entrance, where he walks to after the students have ordered, and pretends to tell an imaginary chef what to cook. He explains his role to me briefly... 'I come here, count to tree in my mind, and then go back'. He takes his role very seriously, and would probably make a very good waiter. He serves out the fake food which is stuck to fake plates, and gives out the fake drinks (each of the fake items cost the teaching centre the equivalent of 75 pounds...a good example of how much money has been put into this place by the government). The other 6 students are with Freaky, going through a 'making a reservation' dialogue. After 15 mins the two groups swap over and everything is repeated.
After the 20 minute break between classes (where the kids go and chat and play together - i.e. have fun) I went to observe the airport class, again run by Freaky. This time, a good Korean teacher was helping her.
Freaky took 6 kids away, and made them go through the metal detector (which is real!), before entering a mock-up of the inside of a plane, with 6 real aircraft seats. Freaky pretended to be an air-stewardess and went along the seats with a trolley serving real drinks. I don't think she would make a real stewardess, however, as she is a) too loud, b) not nice c) unattractive d) really annoying. She then puts on a safety video from Korean Airlines (in English) and leaves the kids to it for 5 minutes while she does nothing. Then she tells them all to get out, and the next 6 students come in.
After the lesson I suggested to her that she stays with the students during the video, as they don't listen to any of the English, and check they do what it tells them to do (at least 4 of them had their seats back and trays down prior to take off). Freaky seemed to agree with me. However, I was later to find out that during the lunch break she was swearing her head off about me, saying how dare I tell her what to do after only being here for a day, blah blah blah. It was only a suggestion, which I put in a polite way, to help raise her teaching level above it's present one, which doesn't even register on the teacher abilty rating machine. I think she hates me. But I'd rather she hates me than loves me, or even likes me...so I'm happy with the outcome.
(That afternoon...)
Finally, it's the 'Mission Impossible' class. This will just be me and Mr. Ying. I'm asked if I am ok to do this class, as I haven't seen it before...but I say I think I can do it. Mr. Ying tells me there is much to prepare before class. This involves the complex procedure of cutting out pictures from printed out sheets, and putting them in small packets. These are then put around the Centre, both inside and out. The students will get some clues as to where these packets are, and must find them, bring them back to the classroom, stick the cut out pictures onto their paper, and then find the next packet. Mr. Ying explains that myself and he then do...absolutely nothing, before laughing and saying 'it's very easy' 5 times.
Mr. Ying insisted that I go with him to stick the packets to various places before the students arrive...although he had already showed me where they are put earlier in the day. He makes it worth my while by asking me to put my finger on the packet while he puts a piece of tape over it to attach it to wherever we might be (like the flag pole in the car park). I try to wonder off a bit when he gets to the sticking up the packets part, to see if he can do it all by himself. But he always calls me over to put my finger on it. I manage to get quite far sometimes, but always have to go back. I put my finger on the packet, holding it onto the pole while I watch Mr. Ying fumble around with the tape, finally snap a piece off the reel, and then completely miss the packet I am holding. He does this pretty often; his strike rate is around 1 in 3. But he will never break off another piece of tape...he will pick off the tape he missed with, which may take some time.
By the time we got around to the back of the building to stick up the last packets, I lost it with Mr. Ying. It was fascinating at first, but now it was torture. I was far behind him this time, and he waited for me to arrive just to hold my finger on the packet. I took the tape away from him, and trying not to sound pissed off, asked him to watch me do it. I snapped off a piece of tape, picked up the packet, stuck half of the tape to the packet and the other to the pole. Tadar! Look at that! He seemed impressed.
'Mr. Ying - you don't need another friggin' person to put their friggin' finger on the friggin' packet while you fumble around with the friggin' tape, and then after all that miss the friggin' thing anyway and it falls to the friggin' floor and friggin' blows away! We then have to go after the friggin' thing, and then start this whole friggin' palaver all over a friggin' gain, man!!!'. I really wanted to say that.
Back in the classroom, the students arrived, and I was to begin my first class. My Ying said I should explain to the students what they needed to do, and he would explain the rules, which are stuck on the wall (but not by Mr. Ying, I think). I went over what they needed to do...which was pretty straight forward. Mr. Ying went over the rules:
'Rule number one - Complete one mission at a time.' 'That means, complete one mission...at a time. You must finish one mission...before starting the next mission.' (Pointing to the words...) 'one mission...at a time'. 'One mission'. 'You understand 'mission'?'
'Yes' (said in a 'Oh for f&#ks sake get on with it' kind of way)
'It means...mission.' 'Something you...need to do.' 'Mission'. 'Only do one mission at a time'.
Unfortunately there were 5 rules. It's never right to interrupt a teacher infront of students, so I didn't, and he went through all 5. I had to turn away whenever a student gave me a 'Can't you do something?' type look.
As the kids ran out of the room, maybe to look for the first packet, maybe just to get out of the room, Mr. Ying said to me quietly 'You did good job. You explain it (to them) very well. You are a good teacher. I very happy you come'.
I felt so happy too.
I was to 'observe' all this week, and so it continued today. The kids, after day one, were pretty nervous at the sight of certain foreign teachers, but otherwise livelier. They had stayed together in a dormitory, and seemed to have got to know each other pretty well after the superb ice-breakers yesterday.
Today I followed a few classes around the 'English Experience Centre'. This is the impressive mock-ups of a post office, restaurant etc. from the West (meaning America). As I felt like a laugh, I watched freaky Korean/American girl first. She was doing the restaurant (this is what I will have to do next week), and then the airport was to follow with another class. Her partner for the first venue is none other than my new partner, Mr. Ying (name changed slightly for protection...but think I've already blown his cover previously - as I have for everyone).
Freaky teacher began as she meant to go on - by lining the kids up against the wall, and blasted them at the top of her voice with a flurry of restaurant-related words, in no particular order, and with her v. strong US accent.
'WAAAAIDER! (waiter);
WAAAAIDRESS! (waitress);
PLAAAYD! (plate);
DEESUUURT! (dessert);
STAAARDUR! (starter)
....and many others. Amazingly all the kids survived this onslaught. Half were then led away by Freaky, and the other 6 were left with Mr. Ying...so either way, they lost.
Mr. Ying, dressed as a waiter, went through the simple dialogue that each of them was to repeat. He has an incredible way of turning clear, written English into a whole new language when it is spoken. The meaning of a word is not so much explained, but is repeated about 5 times instead, then the sentence it is in is repeated 3 times, pointing to the word of confusion. He will finish with 'Do you understand?'. The students are stuck on auto-'yes' whenever they hear this question, and it only takes one person to say it.
Mr. Ying then acts as a waiter. I watched from near the entrance, where he walks to after the students have ordered, and pretends to tell an imaginary chef what to cook. He explains his role to me briefly... 'I come here, count to tree in my mind, and then go back'. He takes his role very seriously, and would probably make a very good waiter. He serves out the fake food which is stuck to fake plates, and gives out the fake drinks (each of the fake items cost the teaching centre the equivalent of 75 pounds...a good example of how much money has been put into this place by the government). The other 6 students are with Freaky, going through a 'making a reservation' dialogue. After 15 mins the two groups swap over and everything is repeated.
After the 20 minute break between classes (where the kids go and chat and play together - i.e. have fun) I went to observe the airport class, again run by Freaky. This time, a good Korean teacher was helping her.
Freaky took 6 kids away, and made them go through the metal detector (which is real!), before entering a mock-up of the inside of a plane, with 6 real aircraft seats. Freaky pretended to be an air-stewardess and went along the seats with a trolley serving real drinks. I don't think she would make a real stewardess, however, as she is a) too loud, b) not nice c) unattractive d) really annoying. She then puts on a safety video from Korean Airlines (in English) and leaves the kids to it for 5 minutes while she does nothing. Then she tells them all to get out, and the next 6 students come in.
After the lesson I suggested to her that she stays with the students during the video, as they don't listen to any of the English, and check they do what it tells them to do (at least 4 of them had their seats back and trays down prior to take off). Freaky seemed to agree with me. However, I was later to find out that during the lunch break she was swearing her head off about me, saying how dare I tell her what to do after only being here for a day, blah blah blah. It was only a suggestion, which I put in a polite way, to help raise her teaching level above it's present one, which doesn't even register on the teacher abilty rating machine. I think she hates me. But I'd rather she hates me than loves me, or even likes me...so I'm happy with the outcome.
(That afternoon...)
Finally, it's the 'Mission Impossible' class. This will just be me and Mr. Ying. I'm asked if I am ok to do this class, as I haven't seen it before...but I say I think I can do it. Mr. Ying tells me there is much to prepare before class. This involves the complex procedure of cutting out pictures from printed out sheets, and putting them in small packets. These are then put around the Centre, both inside and out. The students will get some clues as to where these packets are, and must find them, bring them back to the classroom, stick the cut out pictures onto their paper, and then find the next packet. Mr. Ying explains that myself and he then do...absolutely nothing, before laughing and saying 'it's very easy' 5 times.
Mr. Ying insisted that I go with him to stick the packets to various places before the students arrive...although he had already showed me where they are put earlier in the day. He makes it worth my while by asking me to put my finger on the packet while he puts a piece of tape over it to attach it to wherever we might be (like the flag pole in the car park). I try to wonder off a bit when he gets to the sticking up the packets part, to see if he can do it all by himself. But he always calls me over to put my finger on it. I manage to get quite far sometimes, but always have to go back. I put my finger on the packet, holding it onto the pole while I watch Mr. Ying fumble around with the tape, finally snap a piece off the reel, and then completely miss the packet I am holding. He does this pretty often; his strike rate is around 1 in 3. But he will never break off another piece of tape...he will pick off the tape he missed with, which may take some time.
By the time we got around to the back of the building to stick up the last packets, I lost it with Mr. Ying. It was fascinating at first, but now it was torture. I was far behind him this time, and he waited for me to arrive just to hold my finger on the packet. I took the tape away from him, and trying not to sound pissed off, asked him to watch me do it. I snapped off a piece of tape, picked up the packet, stuck half of the tape to the packet and the other to the pole. Tadar! Look at that! He seemed impressed.
'Mr. Ying - you don't need another friggin' person to put their friggin' finger on the friggin' packet while you fumble around with the friggin' tape, and then after all that miss the friggin' thing anyway and it falls to the friggin' floor and friggin' blows away! We then have to go after the friggin' thing, and then start this whole friggin' palaver all over a friggin' gain, man!!!'. I really wanted to say that.
Back in the classroom, the students arrived, and I was to begin my first class. My Ying said I should explain to the students what they needed to do, and he would explain the rules, which are stuck on the wall (but not by Mr. Ying, I think). I went over what they needed to do...which was pretty straight forward. Mr. Ying went over the rules:
'Rule number one - Complete one mission at a time.' 'That means, complete one mission...at a time. You must finish one mission...before starting the next mission.' (Pointing to the words...) 'one mission...at a time'. 'One mission'. 'You understand 'mission'?'
'Yes' (said in a 'Oh for f&#ks sake get on with it' kind of way)
'It means...mission.' 'Something you...need to do.' 'Mission'. 'Only do one mission at a time'.
Unfortunately there were 5 rules. It's never right to interrupt a teacher infront of students, so I didn't, and he went through all 5. I had to turn away whenever a student gave me a 'Can't you do something?' type look.
As the kids ran out of the room, maybe to look for the first packet, maybe just to get out of the room, Mr. Ying said to me quietly 'You did good job. You explain it (to them) very well. You are a good teacher. I very happy you come'.
I felt so happy too.
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
Photos: Happy groups of students
I would be delighted to be in a small group with 3 girls. Maybe he is on the inside.
'Smile please! No? Can you just stand a little closer? No? You are not speaking to me today? Ok, fine.'
'Who's a lucky chap then??'
What was that?? What did you just say?!! Who taught you that word?'
Two together = confidence and unity against the evil that we find ourselves in a small group of 4 with.
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Kids arrive for an 'English experience week'
Monday
There were 32 of them. Some excited, some nervous, others nonchalant. They had come to the all swanky brand new teaching centre here in Gongju for 5 days of...I'm not quite sure what. They have all been hand-picked from various schools in the province, and are supposed to be the 'best students from each school'.
I said 'hello' as I walked though the small crowd gathered in the lobby. I got some 'hellos' back, but was stopped in my tracks by one girl who stood right infront of me. She said 'hello', immediately followed by 'I love you'. Now, that's a nice way to greet someone you have just met...and I do approve of it strongly. But these students are 15 years old. Someone somewhere between the age of the old lady I met last night and this little girl would be perfect. I reacted to this one by not reacting, as I thought she might have said it just to get a reaction. I tried to act cool, as if I hear that kind of thing all the time (thinking I might be able to pull off a kind of swarve 'James Bond' kind of teacher image, as these kids don't know me at all).
The image I thought I was creating was shattered a few hours later, as the same girl and several of her friends told me I look just like Ron Weasley in 'Harry Potter'. One of them even said 'he's ginger'...which is never funny. My hair is coloured...I got it done two weeks ago, but not ginger. If it had gone that colour then I would have worn a cap. I just think their English wasn't good enough for them to express themselves clearly. I'm not ginger.
The 'lessons'
The kids are split up into 3 classes of 12. I was asked to observe, as I guess it's all too complex for me to deal with still.
But the first event was a 'welcome talk'. Everyone went to the brand new, very nice auditorium. One of the leaders of the Centre spoke in ok English for a few minutes to welcome them, before completely out of the blue and seemingly mid sentence saying 'now look at the Korean flag' (that was on the stage). The national anthem was suddenly blasted out and we were all beckoned to stand. Maybe this is normal here.
Next up was the leader of us foreign teachers, Ellena. She went over the 'teaching centre rules' which flashed up on the swanky new big screen that appeared. One rule that sticks in my mind is 'You must have fun'. It kind of gave me that sinking feeling of what was to come over the next 5 days. If this rule is really necessary, then it seems the 'travelling freaky show' has come home and is about to thrill these lucky kids.
Luckily, the 'Smeallarella' show is reserved for when we visit poor kid's schools in the countryside. So the first activity here was 'ice breaker', where I assumed all the kids would get to know one another via fun games. They all went into the indoor 'sports' room (big classroom with no desks), and took part in 2 activities that were neither fun nor ice-breaking, and where the foreign teachers chatted among themselves while a Korean teacher did all the work. Great start.
When the kids looked really bored they were taken to the classrooms. I followed the crazy USA/Korean girl/woman teacher, as I was curious to find out what she is like on her own as a teacher. I soon found out.
As we walked down the corridor, the first word the poor kids heard screeching from her mouth was 'DON'T'. She shouted to them don't do this and don't do that...and ask me if you want to do anything other than breathe. She sat on her chair with wheels and said don't do this, and then pushed herself around the room and out into the corridor. Unfortunately she came back after a few seconds, still on her chair, and pointed to a sign near her desk that said 'No students allowed near the desk!'. She spoke quickly, and not to anyone in particular (except maybe the ceiling and wall at the back) as she told the kids about herself. There was no way she could know the English level of the kids, as they hadn't spoken. Amusingly, she asked 'do you understand?' when she had finished...and nodded her own head in an attempt to get the students to do the same (because they weren't). Just then, I noticed in the corner where I was sitting was a desk with a notice on it. It read 'Angie's Fan Mail'. Here the kids were invited to write fan mail to her. I read some from previous weeks and all said things like 'Angie we love you' and 'Angie you are so cute'. I really think she IS the kind of person who would write these notes herself. I wonder if she is a tad insecure?
The events that followed I won't go into, but it left no doubt that she was completely useless at: teaching; speaking to kids at a level where then can understand; communication in general; being quiet; not freaking everyone out.
Bet the kids were really looking forward to Tuesday.
There were 32 of them. Some excited, some nervous, others nonchalant. They had come to the all swanky brand new teaching centre here in Gongju for 5 days of...I'm not quite sure what. They have all been hand-picked from various schools in the province, and are supposed to be the 'best students from each school'.
I said 'hello' as I walked though the small crowd gathered in the lobby. I got some 'hellos' back, but was stopped in my tracks by one girl who stood right infront of me. She said 'hello', immediately followed by 'I love you'. Now, that's a nice way to greet someone you have just met...and I do approve of it strongly. But these students are 15 years old. Someone somewhere between the age of the old lady I met last night and this little girl would be perfect. I reacted to this one by not reacting, as I thought she might have said it just to get a reaction. I tried to act cool, as if I hear that kind of thing all the time (thinking I might be able to pull off a kind of swarve 'James Bond' kind of teacher image, as these kids don't know me at all).
The image I thought I was creating was shattered a few hours later, as the same girl and several of her friends told me I look just like Ron Weasley in 'Harry Potter'. One of them even said 'he's ginger'...which is never funny. My hair is coloured...I got it done two weeks ago, but not ginger. If it had gone that colour then I would have worn a cap. I just think their English wasn't good enough for them to express themselves clearly. I'm not ginger.
The 'lessons'
The kids are split up into 3 classes of 12. I was asked to observe, as I guess it's all too complex for me to deal with still.
But the first event was a 'welcome talk'. Everyone went to the brand new, very nice auditorium. One of the leaders of the Centre spoke in ok English for a few minutes to welcome them, before completely out of the blue and seemingly mid sentence saying 'now look at the Korean flag' (that was on the stage). The national anthem was suddenly blasted out and we were all beckoned to stand. Maybe this is normal here.
Next up was the leader of us foreign teachers, Ellena. She went over the 'teaching centre rules' which flashed up on the swanky new big screen that appeared. One rule that sticks in my mind is 'You must have fun'. It kind of gave me that sinking feeling of what was to come over the next 5 days. If this rule is really necessary, then it seems the 'travelling freaky show' has come home and is about to thrill these lucky kids.
Luckily, the 'Smeallarella' show is reserved for when we visit poor kid's schools in the countryside. So the first activity here was 'ice breaker', where I assumed all the kids would get to know one another via fun games. They all went into the indoor 'sports' room (big classroom with no desks), and took part in 2 activities that were neither fun nor ice-breaking, and where the foreign teachers chatted among themselves while a Korean teacher did all the work. Great start.
When the kids looked really bored they were taken to the classrooms. I followed the crazy USA/Korean girl/woman teacher, as I was curious to find out what she is like on her own as a teacher. I soon found out.
As we walked down the corridor, the first word the poor kids heard screeching from her mouth was 'DON'T'. She shouted to them don't do this and don't do that...and ask me if you want to do anything other than breathe. She sat on her chair with wheels and said don't do this, and then pushed herself around the room and out into the corridor. Unfortunately she came back after a few seconds, still on her chair, and pointed to a sign near her desk that said 'No students allowed near the desk!'. She spoke quickly, and not to anyone in particular (except maybe the ceiling and wall at the back) as she told the kids about herself. There was no way she could know the English level of the kids, as they hadn't spoken. Amusingly, she asked 'do you understand?' when she had finished...and nodded her own head in an attempt to get the students to do the same (because they weren't). Just then, I noticed in the corner where I was sitting was a desk with a notice on it. It read 'Angie's Fan Mail'. Here the kids were invited to write fan mail to her. I read some from previous weeks and all said things like 'Angie we love you' and 'Angie you are so cute'. I really think she IS the kind of person who would write these notes herself. I wonder if she is a tad insecure?
The events that followed I won't go into, but it left no doubt that she was completely useless at: teaching; speaking to kids at a level where then can understand; communication in general; being quiet; not freaking everyone out.
Bet the kids were really looking forward to Tuesday.
Monday, 11 June 2007
Le weekend...
Saturday
Spent almost all day in bed feeling ill. Some would call it a hangover, but I don't as nobody feels sorry for you when you say that.
Sunday
Nothing much happened. But did meet a random person in the street. Was just walking along and a voice from behind me said 'hello'. It was a fairly elderly lady who I think had been trying to catch up with me for sometime, as I remember overtaking her 5 minutes previously. But I think she had been falling further and further behind, and in the end decided to shout 'hello' to my back from about 40 meters away. Not wanting to appear unfriendly towards this what was a pretty big effort to say 'hello', I replied with the same, and waited to see if she was going to say anything else. She did.
'Where are you going?'
'Umm...to a net bar' (thinking maybe this was someone I had met, but forgotten)
'What?'
'To use a computer...somewhere'
'Computer. Yes. Where are you from?'
'England'
'England. I been to England two times.'
'Riiight. Where did you go?' (this isn't someone I know)
'Yes. Two times. It's time for dinner now. Shall we go to eat?' (she looked uneasy at this moment as I think she knew she hadn't understood my question. As a result I thought she may have asked me out to dinner either by mistake or in panic.)
'Umm...well, I've got to send an e-mail.' (didn't really)
'Oh. Do you have a phone number?'
'No...but I can give you my e-mail, you strange lady'. (I really don't have a phone yet; didn't really say 'strange lady')
She did send me an e-mail, and tells me she is a peddler, and knows another region near here very well. She says it's a beautiful area...which is a 'historical fact'. She wants to take me there for a daytrip. She wants to know where I live as well. I'm sure she is just a really nice lady wanting to speak English. But I'm not going to go there anytime soon. I will wait for a similar situation to arise which involves a much younger lady who is really fit. I am aware that I will have to walk to another city for it to become a possibility, cause it sure aint gonna happen in this town/small city/no fit ladies place.
Spent almost all day in bed feeling ill. Some would call it a hangover, but I don't as nobody feels sorry for you when you say that.
Sunday
Nothing much happened. But did meet a random person in the street. Was just walking along and a voice from behind me said 'hello'. It was a fairly elderly lady who I think had been trying to catch up with me for sometime, as I remember overtaking her 5 minutes previously. But I think she had been falling further and further behind, and in the end decided to shout 'hello' to my back from about 40 meters away. Not wanting to appear unfriendly towards this what was a pretty big effort to say 'hello', I replied with the same, and waited to see if she was going to say anything else. She did.
'Where are you going?'
'Umm...to a net bar' (thinking maybe this was someone I had met, but forgotten)
'What?'
'To use a computer...somewhere'
'Computer. Yes. Where are you from?'
'England'
'England. I been to England two times.'
'Riiight. Where did you go?' (this isn't someone I know)
'Yes. Two times. It's time for dinner now. Shall we go to eat?' (she looked uneasy at this moment as I think she knew she hadn't understood my question. As a result I thought she may have asked me out to dinner either by mistake or in panic.)
'Umm...well, I've got to send an e-mail.' (didn't really)
'Oh. Do you have a phone number?'
'No...but I can give you my e-mail, you strange lady'. (I really don't have a phone yet; didn't really say 'strange lady')
She did send me an e-mail, and tells me she is a peddler, and knows another region near here very well. She says it's a beautiful area...which is a 'historical fact'. She wants to take me there for a daytrip. She wants to know where I live as well. I'm sure she is just a really nice lady wanting to speak English. But I'm not going to go there anytime soon. I will wait for a similar situation to arise which involves a much younger lady who is really fit. I am aware that I will have to walk to another city for it to become a possibility, cause it sure aint gonna happen in this town/small city/no fit ladies place.
Sunday, 10 June 2007
Alcohol...
Friday...
A day off was announced, as all the Korean teachers were being taken out on a trip to the beach...which is nice. If they accidentally leave behind my teaching partner, Mr. Yang, then I'm sure I will be ok on my own.
This was a chance for me to begin planning lessons for a load of primary school teachers who are due to visit for a week in July. I have been given 6 titles only, and asked to make up lessons for each of them. They are: daily life, describing, the post office, the tourist info. centre, games and quizzes, and skits. They want the plan soon, as the centre will print it's own colour text book based on what we plan. I was handed a text book from a previous group, and it looked really good, until you open it. Inside is a book of lessons planned by people who have never planned lessons before, and all are randomly set out in each teachers own unique style, with spelling mistakes and bad grammar as an extra bonus. This place just gets better by the day! I decided to go see the ear doctor instead of planning...
I found him this time...but it wasn't without one small error. Below what must be the ear doctor sign is what I thought was the ear doctors' surgery...just beyond some blackened glass doors. I opened the door and went inside. It didn't look like the right place to me. It was a small room, with wooden seats, a desk, and a man sitting smoking at a computer playing a game. There was nobody else there. I did see a white coat hanging up, and some cotton buds for cleaning ears on the desk...but it still seemed odd. There was no door other than the one I had walked though. The man glanced over, but ignored me. I got out my phrase book, and walked over to him. I pointed to 'ear' and 'doctor'...and the chap tried to read it. But his couldn't even see the words. He held the book at various distances from his eyes, and I gestured to ask is this place the ear doctor. He nodded, and shook his head, and then got back to his game and his fag. I decided to leave. Once outside I realised it wasn't the ear doctor at all - the sign outside was for the floor above.
The doctor I finally saw said I have a fungus growing in my ear, which is nice (his English was good as well). He gave me some pills to take and told me to come back in 3 days. I looked up this problem on the internet, and it says the condition can last from a few days to a few years, and can be serious, or not. I'll just go back in 3 days and see if it's still there.
The evening came, and I was invited out to sample the night life and bars of Gongju. Out too was a chap I didn't know, and the Korean/American who dresses up as a man in the freak show. Someone had warned me that she gets violent when she has been drinking, which was good to know. She is actually very loud and hyper even before alcohol intake. The other chap, from Canada, was very laid back indeed.
Fortunately, the Korean/American girl fell asleep after drinking one small bottle of sodue (Korea's own alcoholic drink...like Sake in Japan). But during the drinking she did become very, very loud and couldn't sit still for more than a minute. If the Canadian chap and me chatted then she would demand attention. I would put her in the 'incredibly annoying person' category. But anyway, she fell asleep after a particularly long and loud squawk, so that was ok. I found that the Canadian chap Paulx (I have changed his name slightly to protect his identity) has very similar view to me about the teaching centre. He works in another part of it that deals solely with training teachers. I asked him if he thinks it can survive one more year, as that is the length of my contract, and he said it would as nobody knows it's crap yet, and they are clever at passing it off as a success story by interviewing happy kids (who have been given some sweets) and using photos of many happy faces (cut off below the shoulder so as not to show the sweets in their hands).
The evening progressed to a karaoke bar, where I met lots more westerners from Canada and America. The Korean/USA lass woke up and was far too excited to be classified as a normal person. We ended up in the apartment of a 60 year old Canadian woman with red hair and a poodle. She also worked at the place where I work, and was going away for 2 months...so had a kind of party. She is very outspoken I thought, and direct with finding out who you are. A bit later, for some reason, she decided to show us all what was in her secret drawer. I'd rather she hadn't, as the image of someone that age using that kind of device is not something I asked to have in my mind. When everyone decided to leave at about 4am, she declared she thought I was nice, and that I and the Canadian chap could stay longer. We declined politely. I can see how she fits in with the people here. Thank God that was a leaving party.
A day off was announced, as all the Korean teachers were being taken out on a trip to the beach...which is nice. If they accidentally leave behind my teaching partner, Mr. Yang, then I'm sure I will be ok on my own.
This was a chance for me to begin planning lessons for a load of primary school teachers who are due to visit for a week in July. I have been given 6 titles only, and asked to make up lessons for each of them. They are: daily life, describing, the post office, the tourist info. centre, games and quizzes, and skits. They want the plan soon, as the centre will print it's own colour text book based on what we plan. I was handed a text book from a previous group, and it looked really good, until you open it. Inside is a book of lessons planned by people who have never planned lessons before, and all are randomly set out in each teachers own unique style, with spelling mistakes and bad grammar as an extra bonus. This place just gets better by the day! I decided to go see the ear doctor instead of planning...
I found him this time...but it wasn't without one small error. Below what must be the ear doctor sign is what I thought was the ear doctors' surgery...just beyond some blackened glass doors. I opened the door and went inside. It didn't look like the right place to me. It was a small room, with wooden seats, a desk, and a man sitting smoking at a computer playing a game. There was nobody else there. I did see a white coat hanging up, and some cotton buds for cleaning ears on the desk...but it still seemed odd. There was no door other than the one I had walked though. The man glanced over, but ignored me. I got out my phrase book, and walked over to him. I pointed to 'ear' and 'doctor'...and the chap tried to read it. But his couldn't even see the words. He held the book at various distances from his eyes, and I gestured to ask is this place the ear doctor. He nodded, and shook his head, and then got back to his game and his fag. I decided to leave. Once outside I realised it wasn't the ear doctor at all - the sign outside was for the floor above.
The doctor I finally saw said I have a fungus growing in my ear, which is nice (his English was good as well). He gave me some pills to take and told me to come back in 3 days. I looked up this problem on the internet, and it says the condition can last from a few days to a few years, and can be serious, or not. I'll just go back in 3 days and see if it's still there.
The evening came, and I was invited out to sample the night life and bars of Gongju. Out too was a chap I didn't know, and the Korean/American who dresses up as a man in the freak show. Someone had warned me that she gets violent when she has been drinking, which was good to know. She is actually very loud and hyper even before alcohol intake. The other chap, from Canada, was very laid back indeed.
Fortunately, the Korean/American girl fell asleep after drinking one small bottle of sodue (Korea's own alcoholic drink...like Sake in Japan). But during the drinking she did become very, very loud and couldn't sit still for more than a minute. If the Canadian chap and me chatted then she would demand attention. I would put her in the 'incredibly annoying person' category. But anyway, she fell asleep after a particularly long and loud squawk, so that was ok. I found that the Canadian chap Paulx (I have changed his name slightly to protect his identity) has very similar view to me about the teaching centre. He works in another part of it that deals solely with training teachers. I asked him if he thinks it can survive one more year, as that is the length of my contract, and he said it would as nobody knows it's crap yet, and they are clever at passing it off as a success story by interviewing happy kids (who have been given some sweets) and using photos of many happy faces (cut off below the shoulder so as not to show the sweets in their hands).
The evening progressed to a karaoke bar, where I met lots more westerners from Canada and America. The Korean/USA lass woke up and was far too excited to be classified as a normal person. We ended up in the apartment of a 60 year old Canadian woman with red hair and a poodle. She also worked at the place where I work, and was going away for 2 months...so had a kind of party. She is very outspoken I thought, and direct with finding out who you are. A bit later, for some reason, she decided to show us all what was in her secret drawer. I'd rather she hadn't, as the image of someone that age using that kind of device is not something I asked to have in my mind. When everyone decided to leave at about 4am, she declared she thought I was nice, and that I and the Canadian chap could stay longer. We declined politely. I can see how she fits in with the people here. Thank God that was a leaving party.
Friday, 8 June 2007
Travelling Circus - Take 2
Thursday...
After a 2 hour journey in a coach, to a school somewhere 2 hours away came...
...an exact replica of the shenanigans from a couple of days ago. The students were a mix of ages and abilities, but the routine is inflexible...so many had no idea what was going on at all. This time there was a very big stage with a curtain, which delighted those acting in 'Smellarella'. I was still observing from between my fingers, as it was still far too complex for me to grasp after only one viewing. Someone made an amusing joke, saying that I should take over the role of Smellarella. I chuckled on the outside, but on the inside I was jumping off the top of a very tall building. I am not going to put on a dress, pretend I smell bad, go to an imaginary party, and marry a girl dressed up as a boy infront of a load of bewildered kids and dumbstruck teachers. It's not going to happen. I would rather eat my own feet.
As the kids' level of English at this school was a little low, many were restless and spoke a lot of Korean. After the day was over one of the foreign teachers said to me 'I wonder what was wrong with those kids?! Must have a discipline problem at this school.' Actually, there was nothing wrong with the kids my dear friend. Rearrange these words to make 2 well known phrases: workmen; bad; tools; blame; their; tit; you; are. I can see I have a lot of work to do here...and it's going to get messy.
After the journey back to Gongju, Ellena (actually her real name is Erica. I changed it to Ellena in case she somehow got to read this. But I haven't changed anyone else's name and it's pretty damn obvious who I'm talking about. Ah sod it. They won't find this.) - Erica suggested going to Daejon for dinner. I agreed as I thought it would be a good chance to get to know people better. So Erica drove in her small car that couldn't go to Daejon to pick me up when I arrived in Korea, and myself, Smellarella, and the girl/guy Korean/American all went along too.
When we arrived I discovered the main reason why we came here...to go to an American restaurant (TGI's). Great. Ellena said she has only eaten Korean food once since she got here several months ago (and also has no Korean friends). I said maybe we shouldn't go there, as I would like to eat something and there might not be anything for vegetarians. They agreed, and decided on the Outback Steakhouse instead...which was a fantastic alternative. There was nothing at all without meat or fish, but luckily they agreed not to put shrimp into the pasta dish they had....which was kind of them. Twas actually very nice, especially as it was accompanied by a very large glass of beer. The beer was good as it softened the pain of sitting through the ordering process...which took forever as two of the people were on a no-sugar diet, and had the waitress running back and forth to ask the chef if there was any sugar in various dishes. Their aim is to last a month with no sugar (it kills off some sort of bacteria I am told). I give them a few more days before they give up on the idea.
I ordered a large chocolate fudge brownie for dessert. I didn't really want it.
After a 2 hour journey in a coach, to a school somewhere 2 hours away came...
...an exact replica of the shenanigans from a couple of days ago. The students were a mix of ages and abilities, but the routine is inflexible...so many had no idea what was going on at all. This time there was a very big stage with a curtain, which delighted those acting in 'Smellarella'. I was still observing from between my fingers, as it was still far too complex for me to grasp after only one viewing. Someone made an amusing joke, saying that I should take over the role of Smellarella. I chuckled on the outside, but on the inside I was jumping off the top of a very tall building. I am not going to put on a dress, pretend I smell bad, go to an imaginary party, and marry a girl dressed up as a boy infront of a load of bewildered kids and dumbstruck teachers. It's not going to happen. I would rather eat my own feet.
As the kids' level of English at this school was a little low, many were restless and spoke a lot of Korean. After the day was over one of the foreign teachers said to me 'I wonder what was wrong with those kids?! Must have a discipline problem at this school.' Actually, there was nothing wrong with the kids my dear friend. Rearrange these words to make 2 well known phrases: workmen; bad; tools; blame; their; tit; you; are. I can see I have a lot of work to do here...and it's going to get messy.
After the journey back to Gongju, Ellena (actually her real name is Erica. I changed it to Ellena in case she somehow got to read this. But I haven't changed anyone else's name and it's pretty damn obvious who I'm talking about. Ah sod it. They won't find this.) - Erica suggested going to Daejon for dinner. I agreed as I thought it would be a good chance to get to know people better. So Erica drove in her small car that couldn't go to Daejon to pick me up when I arrived in Korea, and myself, Smellarella, and the girl/guy Korean/American all went along too.
When we arrived I discovered the main reason why we came here...to go to an American restaurant (TGI's). Great. Ellena said she has only eaten Korean food once since she got here several months ago (and also has no Korean friends). I said maybe we shouldn't go there, as I would like to eat something and there might not be anything for vegetarians. They agreed, and decided on the Outback Steakhouse instead...which was a fantastic alternative. There was nothing at all without meat or fish, but luckily they agreed not to put shrimp into the pasta dish they had....which was kind of them. Twas actually very nice, especially as it was accompanied by a very large glass of beer. The beer was good as it softened the pain of sitting through the ordering process...which took forever as two of the people were on a no-sugar diet, and had the waitress running back and forth to ask the chef if there was any sugar in various dishes. Their aim is to last a month with no sugar (it kills off some sort of bacteria I am told). I give them a few more days before they give up on the idea.
I ordered a large chocolate fudge brownie for dessert. I didn't really want it.
Thursday, 7 June 2007
Venturing out...
Wednesday...
After yesterdays excitement, I was glad to discover that today is a national holiday. I think it's something to do with remembering the war dead, so everyone should be solemn today, and not happy at getting a day off work.
I had to go to see a doctor, as something was amiss with my ears...one is blocked up and infected, which is nice. I had seen one doctor the day after I arrived, and he told me I had to go to see the 'ear doctor'. So this was who I went to find. I had been given rough directions, and found it easily as there was a big white cross on a green background - which means 'doctor'. I couldn't read the Korean with it, but assumed it must say 'ear doctor'. I was greeted by a dumbstruck receptionist who spoke no words of any language. I used my Korean phrasebook (which I take everywhere) to point to 'doctor' and 'ear'...and she still seemed confused. She went away for a moment and then gestured for me to go through the door where the doctor is. I did that, and sat down next to him. Luckily he could speak some English. I explained my problem. He thought for a while before examining me, and said yes...it's infected, but that he couldn't do anything. It was at this point I noticed a model of a backbone on his desk. There were pictures of backbones all around the room in fact. This was the backbone doctor...which was confirmed when I asked him if he is the ear doctor and he said 'no'. He told me the ear doctor is further down the street, and is closed today. He wanted to give me something though, and looked through the pills that were in his cupboard. I was a bit wary of what he gave me, as he picked up and put down several bottles of pills before handing me some from one of the bottles he had at first put down. This was, after all, the backbone doctor dealing with an ear infection. He didn't charge me for the pills either. After I left I decided I wouldn't take them.
A bit about where I am...
Gongju is a small city, more like a town really. It is 40 minutes from Daejon (the 5th largest city in Korea), and 2 hrs from Seoul. There is a main street which is a few minutes walk from where I am living. The city is surrounded by many many green hills. I was told that the girls in Korea are very beautiful and take great care with their appearance. Not here though...which must be the place all those who don't care how they look are sent. Someone I met said he thinks it's the most conservative place in Korea. Great. It doesn't seem to be the most modern of places either, but a lot of building work is going on. One of the buildings being built happens to be just below my bedroom window, and the workmen believe that everyone is awake by 7.15am.
Tomorrow is going to be another visit to a school in the countryside, about 2 hours away. Those poor, unhappy kids are going to be in for a real treat! The performing monkeys will soon be on their way...
After yesterdays excitement, I was glad to discover that today is a national holiday. I think it's something to do with remembering the war dead, so everyone should be solemn today, and not happy at getting a day off work.
I had to go to see a doctor, as something was amiss with my ears...one is blocked up and infected, which is nice. I had seen one doctor the day after I arrived, and he told me I had to go to see the 'ear doctor'. So this was who I went to find. I had been given rough directions, and found it easily as there was a big white cross on a green background - which means 'doctor'. I couldn't read the Korean with it, but assumed it must say 'ear doctor'. I was greeted by a dumbstruck receptionist who spoke no words of any language. I used my Korean phrasebook (which I take everywhere) to point to 'doctor' and 'ear'...and she still seemed confused. She went away for a moment and then gestured for me to go through the door where the doctor is. I did that, and sat down next to him. Luckily he could speak some English. I explained my problem. He thought for a while before examining me, and said yes...it's infected, but that he couldn't do anything. It was at this point I noticed a model of a backbone on his desk. There were pictures of backbones all around the room in fact. This was the backbone doctor...which was confirmed when I asked him if he is the ear doctor and he said 'no'. He told me the ear doctor is further down the street, and is closed today. He wanted to give me something though, and looked through the pills that were in his cupboard. I was a bit wary of what he gave me, as he picked up and put down several bottles of pills before handing me some from one of the bottles he had at first put down. This was, after all, the backbone doctor dealing with an ear infection. He didn't charge me for the pills either. After I left I decided I wouldn't take them.
A bit about where I am...
Gongju is a small city, more like a town really. It is 40 minutes from Daejon (the 5th largest city in Korea), and 2 hrs from Seoul. There is a main street which is a few minutes walk from where I am living. The city is surrounded by many many green hills. I was told that the girls in Korea are very beautiful and take great care with their appearance. Not here though...which must be the place all those who don't care how they look are sent. Someone I met said he thinks it's the most conservative place in Korea. Great. It doesn't seem to be the most modern of places either, but a lot of building work is going on. One of the buildings being built happens to be just below my bedroom window, and the workmen believe that everyone is awake by 7.15am.
Tomorrow is going to be another visit to a school in the countryside, about 2 hours away. Those poor, unhappy kids are going to be in for a real treat! The performing monkeys will soon be on their way...
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Observing the experts...
Tuesday
As there are no students coming to the 'teaching centre' this week, all the teachers are sent out to a school somewhere in the countryside with what is called a 'Travelling English Camp.'
At 9am a large coach turns up outside the school. Onto it is loaded many boxes of stuff, and a banners is taped to the side of the coach - 'Travelling English Camp.' I tried to find out what the format for the day is, but was met only with grins and 'just wait and see...you are gonna have a lot of fun' (that was Pete).
We drive for about 40 minutes and arrive at a middle school...somewhere. There is a total of 66 students at this school...so it's pretty small. All the stuff is taken off the bus and put in various empty classrooms cleared of desks. Then, in 4 classrooms are set up large screens with picutes of an airport, a restaurant, a supermarket, and a doctors surgery. Four more classrooms have been cleared of desks...and are reserved for something else. I am told that 'the performance' begins at 1pm. Still I am not told what this is...just get cheesy grins and 'you are gonna love it' from Pete (in very loud voice so everyone can hear).
We had lunch, which for me was just rice (Korean food + a vegetarian = bowl of plain rice for me, and the usual 'why are you vegetarian?' questions that I got in China). Then, in another cleared classroom, people started dressing up for 'the performance'. Gerrud, a well built, hairy Australian with a goatee put on a dress and then had his makeup done. Cheney...a Korean male teacher also put on a dress and a wig, and had her makeup done too. The others put on various outfits. Pete put on some old torn clothes...he was to be 'the garbage fairy.'
The performance was about to begin. I couldn't hold my excitement, and went to stand at the back of the hall, well away from the stage. Then the sound system that had been bought especially for the 'travelling english camp' kicked in, and on came Gerrud in his dress and bright red lipstick, with a broom, sweeping the floor. It was a kinf of adaptation of 'Cinderella', except it was called 'Smellarella'. The students laughed. I watched from the spaces between my fingers. On came the others, and spoke at their normal speed. The students didnt understand a word, but laughed anyway. The 'garbage fairy' came on (Pete was careful not to let the kids see him before the show, as it 'would ruin the surprise') and a few kids laughed. The garbage fairy spoke to Smellarella - 'you wanna go to a party?' (kids not know what is going on, some are chatting to each other). The play goes on for about 10 minutes, and end up with the prince, who is a woman dressed up marrying the hairy mangirl cause he/she loves its bad smell that no one else can stand. Oh it was so funny and hilarious. What a fantastic idea this is! Get a group of foreigners to dress up and prance around on stage using English at a level way above what anyone watching can understand, but just make faces and gestures that would make a baby laugh...and tada!...you have a bunch of happy kids in a school in the countryside that is honored to have us visit. Monkeys would have done the same job, but I guess everyone has seen a monkey in a dress so it just wouldn't work. This was something special. But it is also something I am not going to do. I just finished a CELTA course, and learnt a lot from it. I will have to write to the course organisers, as no part of the course had anything like this as an effective way to teach English. I am not putting on a dress and lipstick for anyone. Those days have long gone. No way in the world. It's not an English Camp. It's a Freak Show...and they don't know it!
After the show came the games.
The games were set up in 4 empty classrooms: darts (magnetic), throwing a rolled up newspaper across the floor at empty bottles, a magic trick, and draw the shapes described by the loud American called Pete. This must be the 'fun' part, as hardly any English was used. In fact Pete's activity was the only one that used English. The others were just games. What was the aim of this? I guess to bring the kids some 'fun'. However, many looked pretty bored after a few minutes of each activity that they were rotation around. Darts? They stood in lines and waited their turn to throw a dart at a board pinned to the wall. Then they went to the back of the line. At the end they falsely hyper excited foreign teacher asked her assistant who won, as she hadn't got a clue. After the 20 minute activity, some marshmallows were handed out, which made the kids happy and forget to question the point of what they were doing.
Pete's activity required students to sit in a circle and draw shapes where he told them to draw them. It was a fairly useful listening exercise, but they all copied from the one kid who could understand what Pete was saying, and after 15 minutes of doing it twice more, the kids were bored and Pete told them 'now, colour in your shapes' - what a treat! He finished by giving high-5's to everyone, or rubbing them on the head if they didn't want to high-5 with him. Pete is just a big friendly American chap doing his bit for the poor kids, and bringing happiness to their mundane lives. Well, that's what he thinks anyway.
After the games came the rooms set up as places they might go to one day in their lives, if they can ever leave the poor place they all come from. An American restaurant, an airport, a supermarket, and maybe more useful to them...a medical centre.
Pete was the doctor, and put on his white coat and sat at a desk. The kids lined up and were told to choose from 4 things wrong with them. They then went to see the doctor. They spoke one sentence each, and the doctor then checked them out before putting a plaster on the affected area. The problems were any from: a sore throat, a cold, a stomach ache, and a toothache. For each a plaster was stuck on the student by the doctor, after he had touched and prodded the problem areas. Some were comfortable with this, others not. They then had an eye test with the Korean partner teacher. Most of them had poor eye sight. Then that was it until they rotated onto the next venue.
All the other activites had a similar amount of English, ie..hardly any at all. I was just observing, as it was all far too complex for me to do straight away. I should watch the experts first. And so I did. I got the feeling lots of the kids wanted to speak more, as they were coming over and talking to me rather than do nothing. Pity they didn't get more of a chance really. But soon it was the end of the show, and all the stuff was packed up and the coach rolled away. The staff of the school waved us all off after a happy fun day for their miserable deprived kids. At least I think they were waving. The kids were not sad that we were going it seemed...so the show must have been a great success. That's what the news on the local TV station will say tonight.
(Happy Birthday Mum!)
As there are no students coming to the 'teaching centre' this week, all the teachers are sent out to a school somewhere in the countryside with what is called a 'Travelling English Camp.'
At 9am a large coach turns up outside the school. Onto it is loaded many boxes of stuff, and a banners is taped to the side of the coach - 'Travelling English Camp.' I tried to find out what the format for the day is, but was met only with grins and 'just wait and see...you are gonna have a lot of fun' (that was Pete).
We drive for about 40 minutes and arrive at a middle school...somewhere. There is a total of 66 students at this school...so it's pretty small. All the stuff is taken off the bus and put in various empty classrooms cleared of desks. Then, in 4 classrooms are set up large screens with picutes of an airport, a restaurant, a supermarket, and a doctors surgery. Four more classrooms have been cleared of desks...and are reserved for something else. I am told that 'the performance' begins at 1pm. Still I am not told what this is...just get cheesy grins and 'you are gonna love it' from Pete (in very loud voice so everyone can hear).
We had lunch, which for me was just rice (Korean food + a vegetarian = bowl of plain rice for me, and the usual 'why are you vegetarian?' questions that I got in China). Then, in another cleared classroom, people started dressing up for 'the performance'. Gerrud, a well built, hairy Australian with a goatee put on a dress and then had his makeup done. Cheney...a Korean male teacher also put on a dress and a wig, and had her makeup done too. The others put on various outfits. Pete put on some old torn clothes...he was to be 'the garbage fairy.'
The performance was about to begin. I couldn't hold my excitement, and went to stand at the back of the hall, well away from the stage. Then the sound system that had been bought especially for the 'travelling english camp' kicked in, and on came Gerrud in his dress and bright red lipstick, with a broom, sweeping the floor. It was a kinf of adaptation of 'Cinderella', except it was called 'Smellarella'. The students laughed. I watched from the spaces between my fingers. On came the others, and spoke at their normal speed. The students didnt understand a word, but laughed anyway. The 'garbage fairy' came on (Pete was careful not to let the kids see him before the show, as it 'would ruin the surprise') and a few kids laughed. The garbage fairy spoke to Smellarella - 'you wanna go to a party?' (kids not know what is going on, some are chatting to each other). The play goes on for about 10 minutes, and end up with the prince, who is a woman dressed up marrying the hairy mangirl cause he/she loves its bad smell that no one else can stand. Oh it was so funny and hilarious. What a fantastic idea this is! Get a group of foreigners to dress up and prance around on stage using English at a level way above what anyone watching can understand, but just make faces and gestures that would make a baby laugh...and tada!...you have a bunch of happy kids in a school in the countryside that is honored to have us visit. Monkeys would have done the same job, but I guess everyone has seen a monkey in a dress so it just wouldn't work. This was something special. But it is also something I am not going to do. I just finished a CELTA course, and learnt a lot from it. I will have to write to the course organisers, as no part of the course had anything like this as an effective way to teach English. I am not putting on a dress and lipstick for anyone. Those days have long gone. No way in the world. It's not an English Camp. It's a Freak Show...and they don't know it!
After the show came the games.
The games were set up in 4 empty classrooms: darts (magnetic), throwing a rolled up newspaper across the floor at empty bottles, a magic trick, and draw the shapes described by the loud American called Pete. This must be the 'fun' part, as hardly any English was used. In fact Pete's activity was the only one that used English. The others were just games. What was the aim of this? I guess to bring the kids some 'fun'. However, many looked pretty bored after a few minutes of each activity that they were rotation around. Darts? They stood in lines and waited their turn to throw a dart at a board pinned to the wall. Then they went to the back of the line. At the end they falsely hyper excited foreign teacher asked her assistant who won, as she hadn't got a clue. After the 20 minute activity, some marshmallows were handed out, which made the kids happy and forget to question the point of what they were doing.
Pete's activity required students to sit in a circle and draw shapes where he told them to draw them. It was a fairly useful listening exercise, but they all copied from the one kid who could understand what Pete was saying, and after 15 minutes of doing it twice more, the kids were bored and Pete told them 'now, colour in your shapes' - what a treat! He finished by giving high-5's to everyone, or rubbing them on the head if they didn't want to high-5 with him. Pete is just a big friendly American chap doing his bit for the poor kids, and bringing happiness to their mundane lives. Well, that's what he thinks anyway.
After the games came the rooms set up as places they might go to one day in their lives, if they can ever leave the poor place they all come from. An American restaurant, an airport, a supermarket, and maybe more useful to them...a medical centre.
Pete was the doctor, and put on his white coat and sat at a desk. The kids lined up and were told to choose from 4 things wrong with them. They then went to see the doctor. They spoke one sentence each, and the doctor then checked them out before putting a plaster on the affected area. The problems were any from: a sore throat, a cold, a stomach ache, and a toothache. For each a plaster was stuck on the student by the doctor, after he had touched and prodded the problem areas. Some were comfortable with this, others not. They then had an eye test with the Korean partner teacher. Most of them had poor eye sight. Then that was it until they rotated onto the next venue.
All the other activites had a similar amount of English, ie..hardly any at all. I was just observing, as it was all far too complex for me to do straight away. I should watch the experts first. And so I did. I got the feeling lots of the kids wanted to speak more, as they were coming over and talking to me rather than do nothing. Pity they didn't get more of a chance really. But soon it was the end of the show, and all the stuff was packed up and the coach rolled away. The staff of the school waved us all off after a happy fun day for their miserable deprived kids. At least I think they were waving. The kids were not sad that we were going it seemed...so the show must have been a great success. That's what the news on the local TV station will say tonight.
(Happy Birthday Mum!)
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Inside the 'school'...
Here are some of the mock venues that the students visit. They are pretty relistic, and the students are usually in awe of them. This is the hotel, with for some reason, a Tower of London Beefeater standing outside.
The Airport: Pretty realistic too. Airport-type sounds play over the speakers and students must show their fake passports to the fake passport control person. Amazingly, all are allowed to board the plane. Some even have liquids...in bottles! Fortunatley so far, none of the students have turned out to be terrorists.
Inside the plane: These are actual seats from a Korean Airlines plane. The crazy Korean/USA girl takes this lesson and the students, having initially been excited, are left wishing they were in a real plane flying to somewhere far away (I mean, once the crazy girl goes away, leaving them to listen to the safety video...which they find about as interesting as something that is really dull). I was also excited when I first saw this...and I couldn't resist taking a look behind the curtain to see if there was a real cock-pit. But there isn't - it's just a wall, which I found a bit disappointing.
The Fast Food Drive Through...although there are no cars to drive through it. Inside is the fast food restaurant, where students are taught about how to get fat by eating a variety of junk food, which they then can practise ordering.
A sample of the fast-food delights...all made of rubber. As the students are told endlessly, these cost the school US$150 for each item...which is meant to stop them destroying them. They could have saved money by buying real fries from the Mc.Donalds in town. They last months without going off (so the Supersize Me movie said) and would cost about $1.
Olive Restaurant. The slogan for the restaurant is 'Enjoy Fresh Time'. I guess Pete, from the US, or Crazy Korean/American girl were consulted on the wording.
Inside the restaurant: the students are being given a lesson on how to order by Mr. Yang. His dialogue never changes, and he always tells them the most important words to know are 'I would like...', and he then gives an example...or two, or three. He actually goes through the entire menu demonstrating how to use the phrase 'I would like...' - which the students knew before they came here. I did suggest he gives just one example, as it's pretty basic stuff for them, but he didn't like the idea.
Some of the food on offer at 'Olive Restaurant'. They can't have the lasagna, as it's not on the menu. Niether is the very appealing pasta in gravy with a slab of meat on top (and garnished with what looks like a marijuana leaf on top). Do they really eat this in America, or was the rubber food company having a laugh? Anyway, too much meat in this restaurant for my liking.
Inside the 'Home' venue. Everything is real...and must have cost a bomb. In the kitchen is a real fridge-freezer (empty but turned on), and a sink with running water. In the lounge American Pete sits the kids down and, in his own words, 'really talks to the students one-on-one', looking them in the eye, listening to what they have to say. Some of his great conversation starters include 'So, do you like school?', and 'What's the weather like today?', and 'Would you like to live in a home like this?' (they all live in blocks of flats which vary as much as Pete's questions for each student (I mean...they are all the same)).
Meeting the Korean teachers...
Monday
Was taken to the school to have a look around and meet people. Was told they have all been looking forward to meeting me, which is nice. First Korean lady I was introduced to...around 50 yrs old, smiley, short:
'David, this is Margaret'
'Hello Margaret. Nice to meet you'
'Are you a Christian?'
'Umm...no.'
'Oh (disappointed). Are you a vegetarian?'
'Yes! How did you know?'
'I met another David once, and he was a vegetarian.'
The other Korean teachers I met were also friendly, but seemed a bit bemused. They had seen a photo of me b4 I arrived - one of me reading the news in China (smart, tie, short hair). I now had much longer hair, with blond streaky highlights.
This is not really a school. It's a very new building and is decked out with modern technology. Students come to stay for 5 days, and are taught English in classrooms, and also in the 'English Experience Centre'. The EEC is on 2 floors, and is a pretty impressive place! There are very realistic mock-ups of places such as a post office, bank, supermarket, restaurant, fast food restaurant, doctors, chemist, a street, and an airport. The supermarket has a real cash register, the bank has a working (but fake) cash machine, the doctors surgery has a real blood pressure and heart rate thing...and prints out the results, the airport has a working metal detector, and there is also a mock-up of the inside of a plane which has a screen at the front on which the safety video is played. It's all very real! This is where students come to practise what they have learnt in the classroom.
I discover that this centre is now very famous in Korea, and is the first of it's kind. It's run by the government, and has been on TV a lot. It is visited by teachers, headmasters and TV crews from all over the country. Some of the best teachers in the country were carefully selected to teach here (so the welcome info says). I am also told that here, the emphasis is more on 'fun' than teaching. As the big 61 year old American teacher called Pete told me...'All we want to do here is make sure the kids go away happy. Teaching only makes sad faces.' Hmm. I think, Pete, that depends very much on the teacher. (I didn't say that. He is quite loud, and very sure of what he is saying. I just smile and nod for now. Smile and nod. Oh...did I mention he's an American?
I am introduced to Mr Yang. Mr Yang will be my Korean teaching partner (every foreign teacher here is paired up). He is someone I will work closely with, as we will 'teach' the students together in the classroom. Our first conversation went as follows:
'Hello, nice to meet you'
'Very happy. I wait long time. Very happy. You come.'
'So we will be partners, right?'
'Very happy. Finally. Long time wait. My Engrish no good. Solly.'
We went to the classroom. Tis very big...with a plasma screen TV hanging from the ceiling, and the biggest whiteboard in the world. Each class will only have 12 students. Mr Yang and I chatted for what seemed like a very long time. I understood little of our conversation, but I did catch that the first leader of Korea was someone who went to America, studied at Harvard, found God, and then returned to Korea and took over. Many American missionaries followed him...which explains a lot. He told me this story twice. Mr Yang then went on to tell me (in secret) that Pete gets paid 20000won to go and sing hymns in a church on Sundays. I was then invited to go to a church in Mr Yangs hometown to sing hymns, and get paid (but in secret). I avoided answering the question by saying something unrelated to the topic very quickly, which confused Mr Yang, and I went off to make a cup of tea.
Mr Yang. He is my partner in 'teaching' English, and I can hardly understand a word he says. He keeps saying the job is 'very easy', and laughing. But something he said did shock me...after I realised what he had said that is. He was talking about Englishmen, and this is what it sounded like to me:
'Engrishmen...very good peace'
But after he repeated it a few times (as I looked confused) I realised this is what he was saying:
'Engrishmen...very good penis.'
This also explained his embarrassed laughter after each repetition. But then I realised it's not what he said that is worrying, it's how he knows this.
Fun times ahead.
Was taken to the school to have a look around and meet people. Was told they have all been looking forward to meeting me, which is nice. First Korean lady I was introduced to...around 50 yrs old, smiley, short:
'David, this is Margaret'
'Hello Margaret. Nice to meet you'
'Are you a Christian?'
'Umm...no.'
'Oh (disappointed). Are you a vegetarian?'
'Yes! How did you know?'
'I met another David once, and he was a vegetarian.'
The other Korean teachers I met were also friendly, but seemed a bit bemused. They had seen a photo of me b4 I arrived - one of me reading the news in China (smart, tie, short hair). I now had much longer hair, with blond streaky highlights.
This is not really a school. It's a very new building and is decked out with modern technology. Students come to stay for 5 days, and are taught English in classrooms, and also in the 'English Experience Centre'. The EEC is on 2 floors, and is a pretty impressive place! There are very realistic mock-ups of places such as a post office, bank, supermarket, restaurant, fast food restaurant, doctors, chemist, a street, and an airport. The supermarket has a real cash register, the bank has a working (but fake) cash machine, the doctors surgery has a real blood pressure and heart rate thing...and prints out the results, the airport has a working metal detector, and there is also a mock-up of the inside of a plane which has a screen at the front on which the safety video is played. It's all very real! This is where students come to practise what they have learnt in the classroom.
I discover that this centre is now very famous in Korea, and is the first of it's kind. It's run by the government, and has been on TV a lot. It is visited by teachers, headmasters and TV crews from all over the country. Some of the best teachers in the country were carefully selected to teach here (so the welcome info says). I am also told that here, the emphasis is more on 'fun' than teaching. As the big 61 year old American teacher called Pete told me...'All we want to do here is make sure the kids go away happy. Teaching only makes sad faces.' Hmm. I think, Pete, that depends very much on the teacher. (I didn't say that. He is quite loud, and very sure of what he is saying. I just smile and nod for now. Smile and nod. Oh...did I mention he's an American?
I am introduced to Mr Yang. Mr Yang will be my Korean teaching partner (every foreign teacher here is paired up). He is someone I will work closely with, as we will 'teach' the students together in the classroom. Our first conversation went as follows:
'Hello, nice to meet you'
'Very happy. I wait long time. Very happy. You come.'
'So we will be partners, right?'
'Very happy. Finally. Long time wait. My Engrish no good. Solly.'
We went to the classroom. Tis very big...with a plasma screen TV hanging from the ceiling, and the biggest whiteboard in the world. Each class will only have 12 students. Mr Yang and I chatted for what seemed like a very long time. I understood little of our conversation, but I did catch that the first leader of Korea was someone who went to America, studied at Harvard, found God, and then returned to Korea and took over. Many American missionaries followed him...which explains a lot. He told me this story twice. Mr Yang then went on to tell me (in secret) that Pete gets paid 20000won to go and sing hymns in a church on Sundays. I was then invited to go to a church in Mr Yangs hometown to sing hymns, and get paid (but in secret). I avoided answering the question by saying something unrelated to the topic very quickly, which confused Mr Yang, and I went off to make a cup of tea.
Mr Yang. He is my partner in 'teaching' English, and I can hardly understand a word he says. He keeps saying the job is 'very easy', and laughing. But something he said did shock me...after I realised what he had said that is. He was talking about Englishmen, and this is what it sounded like to me:
'Engrishmen...very good peace'
But after he repeated it a few times (as I looked confused) I realised this is what he was saying:
'Engrishmen...very good penis.'
This also explained his embarrassed laughter after each repetition. But then I realised it's not what he said that is worrying, it's how he knows this.
Fun times ahead.
Monday, 4 June 2007
Arrived in Korea
04 Jun 2007
Korea - Week 1
The Job Advertisement:
Teaching position - 2.9 million won per month (1550 pounds), free accommodation provided. One year contract. 300000 won (160 pounds) 'settling in' payment; 22 teaching hours per week, overtime optional at 20000 won per hour. New, modern teaching building. The best students in the province come to stay for one week to learn English in a new and fun way. Location: Gongju - capital city of blah province (can't remember what it's called).
Sounded good. Was kind of chasing the money too (most jobs here pay 1.9-2.2 million won). Applied; was offered job; accepted job; sent documents; got Visa; bought plane ticket.
The person who offered me the job is Ellena, and she is from Canada. I kept in touch via e-mail b4 arriving on Korea. The e-mails just b4 I left went as follows....
'Dear Ellena, will I be met at the airport by anyone? I have never been to Korea b4 and don't know a single word yet. Oh...one more thing...unfortunately I am a vegetarian...will there be much for me to eat in Korea or should I bring my own food?' (wasn't being serious).
'Dear David - Yes...you will be picked up from the airport in Seoul and taken to your apartment in Gongju' (about 3 hrs away). 'Oh...do you have much luggage? There is lots of food here for vegetarians...you don't need to bring your own.'
'Dear Ellena, Oh ok... I will unpack the tofu. But I will still have 3 heavy bags with me.'
'Dear David, I don't think my car will be big enough, so I think it will be easier if you get on a bus from Seoul to Daejon, and then get another bus to Gongju. Call me when you are on your way. My number is blah blah blah. You will need about ten 100 won coins for the phones. Good luck.'
'Dear Ellena, Oh yes...that is so much easier. I will arrive in a country I have never been to, look for a bus to somewhere I have never heard of in a language I have never spoken, and will make phone calls along the way with coins I don't have, and 3 heavy bags. You bstard.' (I didn't send this one. Just thought it).
Sunday - Arrived
Made it to Gongju...with the kind help of a chap who could see I was completely lost when I got off the first bus in Daejon. Kind and friendly people the Koreans, I thought, stereotyping a whole nation after having met one person. I don't have the same feelings towards Canada, or the selfish, unthoughtful, small car owning arses who live there.
I was met by Ellena the biatch after waiting 30mins at the bus station in Gongju. She seemed v friendly and nice, and I got into her small car.
'My boyfriend is cooking you lunch. You must be hungry after all that travelling. Oh, and I can't find the key to your flat! I was there this morning bleaching the black mould in your bathroom, and I think I have thrown it out with the rubbish.'
'Nice. What's for lunch?'
'Steak'
'Fantastic'
The key was finally found in a bag of rubbish, which was among many other bags of rubbish near the blocks of flats where I, and about 7 other foreign teachers live. I thought it was lucky to have found it...so maybe things were looking up.
Was taken to the place where I will be living - the top floor of a six floor apartment block. There was no lift, but thought that is good as it will give me some exercise. The flat had brand new fridge freezer, microwave, gas hobs, electric hobs, rice cooker, TV, bed, and an air con....which was nice. The black mould wasn't black anymore, thankfully, and there were 2 balconies.
I ventured off to the supermarket to buy some food. Everything was in Korean, funnily enough. But bought the things I recognised, and went back to cook. When I got back my nice Canadian helper told me there are no plates, cutlery, pans, cups, bed sheets, nor kettle or anything at all that makes a place inhabitable. I can buy these things with the settling in money...which I will get in about a week. Wonderful. I brought very little money with me...cause I don't have any.
Was looking forward to the next day when I would be taken to the school and introduced to other people...
Korea - Week 1
The Job Advertisement:
Teaching position - 2.9 million won per month (1550 pounds), free accommodation provided. One year contract. 300000 won (160 pounds) 'settling in' payment; 22 teaching hours per week, overtime optional at 20000 won per hour. New, modern teaching building. The best students in the province come to stay for one week to learn English in a new and fun way. Location: Gongju - capital city of blah province (can't remember what it's called).
Sounded good. Was kind of chasing the money too (most jobs here pay 1.9-2.2 million won). Applied; was offered job; accepted job; sent documents; got Visa; bought plane ticket.
The person who offered me the job is Ellena, and she is from Canada. I kept in touch via e-mail b4 arriving on Korea. The e-mails just b4 I left went as follows....
'Dear Ellena, will I be met at the airport by anyone? I have never been to Korea b4 and don't know a single word yet. Oh...one more thing...unfortunately I am a vegetarian...will there be much for me to eat in Korea or should I bring my own food?' (wasn't being serious).
'Dear David - Yes...you will be picked up from the airport in Seoul and taken to your apartment in Gongju' (about 3 hrs away). 'Oh...do you have much luggage? There is lots of food here for vegetarians...you don't need to bring your own.'
'Dear Ellena, Oh ok... I will unpack the tofu. But I will still have 3 heavy bags with me.'
'Dear David, I don't think my car will be big enough, so I think it will be easier if you get on a bus from Seoul to Daejon, and then get another bus to Gongju. Call me when you are on your way. My number is blah blah blah. You will need about ten 100 won coins for the phones. Good luck.'
'Dear Ellena, Oh yes...that is so much easier. I will arrive in a country I have never been to, look for a bus to somewhere I have never heard of in a language I have never spoken, and will make phone calls along the way with coins I don't have, and 3 heavy bags. You bstard.' (I didn't send this one. Just thought it).
Sunday - Arrived
Made it to Gongju...with the kind help of a chap who could see I was completely lost when I got off the first bus in Daejon. Kind and friendly people the Koreans, I thought, stereotyping a whole nation after having met one person. I don't have the same feelings towards Canada, or the selfish, unthoughtful, small car owning arses who live there.
I was met by Ellena the biatch after waiting 30mins at the bus station in Gongju. She seemed v friendly and nice, and I got into her small car.
'My boyfriend is cooking you lunch. You must be hungry after all that travelling. Oh, and I can't find the key to your flat! I was there this morning bleaching the black mould in your bathroom, and I think I have thrown it out with the rubbish.'
'Nice. What's for lunch?'
'Steak'
'Fantastic'
The key was finally found in a bag of rubbish, which was among many other bags of rubbish near the blocks of flats where I, and about 7 other foreign teachers live. I thought it was lucky to have found it...so maybe things were looking up.
Was taken to the place where I will be living - the top floor of a six floor apartment block. There was no lift, but thought that is good as it will give me some exercise. The flat had brand new fridge freezer, microwave, gas hobs, electric hobs, rice cooker, TV, bed, and an air con....which was nice. The black mould wasn't black anymore, thankfully, and there were 2 balconies.
I ventured off to the supermarket to buy some food. Everything was in Korean, funnily enough. But bought the things I recognised, and went back to cook. When I got back my nice Canadian helper told me there are no plates, cutlery, pans, cups, bed sheets, nor kettle or anything at all that makes a place inhabitable. I can buy these things with the settling in money...which I will get in about a week. Wonderful. I brought very little money with me...cause I don't have any.
Was looking forward to the next day when I would be taken to the school and introduced to other people...
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